My Pregnancy Truths

This Week in Scrapbooking

2012-01-28T09:45:00.000+11:00

Here are some of my recent layouts for 2012:

This was my portion of ScrapOrchard's 'Rumble in the Orchard' CT battle recently. I liked my part so much that I uploaded it as a separate layout. :)

Queen Bee - by Faith True Originals
The Sweet Life - by Faith True Originals
Hippity Hoppity - by Faith True Originals

In January 2010 I made a resolution to start a Mission 101 list (setting 101 goals to complete in 1001 days). Now I am in the final nine months of thist project and I'm currently sitting at 42/101 goals complete. Can I make it to 60 before September 12th?!

Kit: All Geared Up - Designs by Kat
Alpha: All Geared Up Alpha - Designs by Kat
Template: Ianthine Templates - by Scrapping With Liz

My basic muffin recipe with a little fruit added in... all recommended by my little taste-tester. ;)

Kit & Alpha: Made with love - Designs by Kat

I've been playing with blends lately, and I really like how quickly and easily this layout came together. The papers in this kit are so pretty!!
Bathtub Adventures - by Faith True
Bathtub Adventures Wordart - by Faith True

Practicing his bear crawl to get over obstacles, LOL! :D

Funny Adventures - Designs by Kat
Lazy Days - Designs by Kat

Wordless Wednesday

2012-01-26T09:49:00.000+11:00

Rowan at 9 Months

2012-01-17T21:16:00.000+11:00

Rowan is now nine months old and is suddenly acting like a much older baby... it's as if a switch has flicked on that it's full speed to toddlerhood (much to this Mummy's disappointment; sure, I'm proud - but the newborn I cradled in my arms not-too-many months ago is fast becoming a little BOY).
Here's a little rundown of where he is at developmentally:

6 teeth (4 on the top and 2 on the bottom)
Cruising on us, furniture, really anything that he can
Starting to use objects to assist in walking (including his ride-on train toy, the laundry hamper and the kitchen rubbish bin! o_O)
Eating three solid meals a day and 4-5 breastfeeds
Waking 1-2 times in the night for feeds (over a 12 hour period)
Favourite foods include canteloupe (rockmelon), pineapple, chicken, Weetbix, homemade cakes and biscuits (at least I know what's in them!), grapes cut in half and banana
Baby-led weaning is still working really well for us as a family; Rowan has gotten really proficient with picking up food and getting it to his mouth, he enjoys using a loaded spoon (food already on it) and tips the spoon upside down in his mouth to lick off the contents. He is also starting to tears bits of meat off with his top and bottom teeth and chewing them. Bigger pieces of food are also being swallowed, making for interesting nappies at times!
Seems to be changing his nap and sleeptime routines (see below)
Is using 'Mumumumum' around me (bit early to call it a first word yet though), and 'geh/gooo' to everything else
Shows excitement by bouncing up and down on his knees, flailing his arms (this started on Christmas Day)
Can clap his hands together (we haven't taught him how, he's just discovered it)
Enjoys taking items out of a container, dropping objects to hear their sound, his wooden maracas (or anything that shakes), turning the pages of board books and ripping paper (hence the board books ;P)
Starting to use his index finger (pointing) to touch the details on things, such as buttons (he loves the buttons on clothing!)
Will pull my top down when hungry and wanting a milk feed (it's Summer here so I'm wearing a singlet most of the time)

On nap/sleeptimes, I've noticed that Rowan is making a fuss about his afternoon nap and more often than not, fighting it. He's normally a pretty good sleeper (thankfully) and it only occurred to me recently - Matt wondered before me - that I think he's dropping his second naptime. In hindsight, the signs are there: he's sleeping longer in the night and waking up later, active for a longer period in the morning (3 hours) and napping longer over lunchtime (usually 1.5-2.5 hours). By then, he's usually only getting tired by dinnertime, then there's an hour until bedtime for the night. So really, the routine is changing.

But am I ready to be flexible about the changes happening? I don't want to be but know I need to be. I really thought it would be longer before Rowan dropped from two naps to one, and it will make trips out of the house during the day a bit tricky while we all figure out what is happening (usually we go out in the early morning or early afternoon; now it'll either need to be early morning or mid-afternoon).
I guess that time will tell!

Some recent photos taken between 8.5-9 months:

Spunky boy

First swim in a pool

Upside down!

Sick with a cold, but having fun with a tissuebox

The remnants of Christmas Day lunch!

Playing with his favourite Christmas toy, an activity centre

Playing with tree decorations at Nan-Nan's house (my Mum)

Wordless Wednesday

2012-01-11T13:19:00.000+11:00

January Currents

2012-01-07T12:16:00.001+11:00

Created with Made Anew (by mLE Card & Faith True).

Here are my currents... so what are yours? :)

Rowan's Photobook

2012-01-06T22:12:00.000+11:00

I never got around to posting pictures of our Christmas presents to our families back in December (mainly due to them reading this blog and wanting things to remain a surprise!). We had books from blurb.com printed of Rowan's 2011. This started off with a few ultrasound and belly pictures (aww) and progressed to 10 pages of images per month post-bierth, resulting in a whopping 100 pages - WOW!

The quality of the printed images is surperb and we sprung for extra-thick pages, which really added a professional touch with the finished product (including a full-bleed photo cover). Everyone loved the books too! We didn't print one for ourselves because we'll be covering the first 12 months in April, the project is saved on our computer to make it easier for adding additional pages. :)

Here are pictures of the photobooks:

Standing

2011-12-30T22:08:00.000+11:00

My big boy (8 months, 3 weeks & 2 days old, to be exact!) stood up on his own for the first time for longer than a couple of seconds tonight.

He was holding onto my leg with one hand, the other hand holding a toy... then let go of me to play two-handed with the toy - and stood there for at least ten seconds. I don't know if Rowan realised what he was doing, but afterwards he carefully squatted into a sitting position while still holding the toy in both hands. o_O

This Week in Scrapbooking

2011-12-27T17:23:00.000+11:00

I've been working on more of the layouts in Rowan's Christmas album this week, Artscow (a printing website) have a 50% off sale on photobooks at the moment to be used before the 31st of December, so I'm attempting to get it all done. Besides, I don't want to be scrapping about Christmas in April, anyway! ;)

Here's a few of the layouts I've completed recently:

We Skyped on Christmas morning with my hubby's family so they could see their first grandchild open gifts. It was pretty cool connecting the laptop up to the TV so we could see their faces easily. :)

Credits
Merry & Bright Bundle - by Designs by Kat https://scraporchard.com/market/Merry-and-Bright-Digital-Scrapbook-Bundle.html
Fonts: Eight Fifteen [titlework] and Courier New [journalling]

Rowan (8 months old) has his first-ever picture with Santa. We'll ignore the fact that he cried immediately following the photo though. ;)

Credits
Kit: Christmas Blessings - by Captivated Visions & Litabells Designs https://scraporchard.com/market/Christmas-Blessings-Digital-Scrapbook-Kit.html
Template: Ianthine Templates - by Scrapping with Liz https://scraporchard.com/market/Ianthine-Digital-Scrapbook-Template.html
Scribbles Alpha - by Chelle's Creations https://scraporchard.com/market/Scribbles-Digital-Scrapbook-Alpha.html
Fonts: Howser [title] and The Great Escape [journalling]

Journalling reads: "When you started teething again during December, the race was on... what would come first: Christmas or your two top front teeth? Tooth #3 came down during early December and tooth #4 finally came in with 3 days to spare - phew!! You were so miserable cutting that fourth tooth, and are happy to see you back to your happy, smiling self!"

Credits
Kit + Alpha: Be Merry - by Secret Stash https://scraporchard.com/market/Be-Merry.html
Be Merry Overlays - by Secret Stash https://scraporchard.com/market/Be-Merry-Overlays-Digital-Scrapbook.html
Template: Chopped Paper Temps - by Scrapping with Liz https://scraporchard.com/market/Chopped-Paper-Template-Digital-Scrapbook.html
Font: CK Ali's Hand

Christmas Day itself was quite eventful, will be back shortly with a proper recap of what turned out to be a day to remember!

Christmas Eve

2011-12-24T21:57:00.000+11:00

This time last year I sat in Hobart watching Carols by Candlelight with my prgnant, swollen feet up, nursing sunburn. And this year... I nursed my baby before watching the Carols. ;)

I've often wondered what Christmas with a child would be like. I remember it being a magical time from my own childhood, surrounded by family and doing things such as sneaking lollies and chips from the coffee table before lunch with my cousins, giggling at our secrecy (which of course, wasn't so secret!). While Rowan won't remember in future years what his first Christmas was like, we'll have plenty of pictures to show him when he's older.

For now, we'll enjoy the da-da-da-de-de's and ga-ga-ga's while our eight month old pulls up at everyone's legs and demands infinite solid foods and afterwards comes crawling back into the comfort of my arms for quiet milk feeds, before he's off again exploring the world.

To all my friends, thank you for being here and for supporting us in every facet of our lives. Merry Christmas to you all.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-12-22T13:09:00.000+11:00

Our Christmas card for this year. Merry Christmas from Matt, Rowan and I from me to you. :)

This Week in Scrapbooking

2011-12-17T09:08:00.000+11:00

Here are three of the pages I made this week, all credit linking is below each image (the Christmas pages are for Rowan's Getting Ready for Christmas book and the layout of the three of us is for our 2011 book.

Journalling reads: "It’s rare for the three of us to get into a photo together these days, as one of us always seems to be in front of the camera! Fortunately Auntie Marisa was over before your first Christmas Party and took a few photos of us as a family. I really like how this shot of us turned out, and how grown up you look in your “big boy” outfit!" (Dec 12th, 2011)

Credits
Kit: Crazy Little Thing - by Faith True & mLE Card [ link ]
Font: Nothing You Could Say

Journalling reads: "Growing up, the thing that got me excited about Christmas was the food - particularly mince pies and shortbreads. Every year, my Mum would make both treats and they weren’t allowed to be eaten before Christmas Eve. Somehow, waiting until then made them that much more special. Now, as an adult, I don’t wait until Christmas Eve to eat my favourite treats anymore... and neither does my Mum. In fact, it was late NOVEMBER when we were over at my Mum’s house for afternoon tea and she pulled out some mince pies from the bakery. I planned on eating mine myself, but with Rowan around there was very little chance of that happening! Mince pies in November... I guess that means that Christmas is definitely on the way!"

Kit & Alpha: Holiday Traditions - by Designs by Kat [ link ]
Fonts: Eight Fifteen [titlework] and Courier New [journalling]

Journalling reads: "Since Matt’s family lives in Hobart and mine in Melbourne, it’s difficult to get all of us in one place at any one time. On Matt’s 30th birthday, his family came to visit and although we were missing my brother & Matt’s sister Jess, this was as close to a full family portrait as we were going to get. THREE generations in one picture!"

Credits
Kit & Alpha: A Christmas Village - Designs by Kat & Ziggle Designs [ link ]
Template: Fuss Free Holiday Memories - Fiddle Dee Dee Designs [ link ]
Fonts: Guess What. [titlework], CK Jot [journalling]

Wordless Not-So-Wednesday

2011-12-15T22:23:00.000+11:00

8 Months Old & a Video

2011-12-09T22:11:00.002+11:00

This week Rowan turned eight months old and with it has come an explosion in the sounds that will one day become speech. For the last couple of weeks he has been making tiger-like gutteral growls which seems to attract a lot of attention when we're out and about (he does them most gleefully, of course!). Then came 'heh', and this morning begun the full-on 'dededede'. The teacher in me is so happy to hear sounds, and Rowan's little voice is so cute.

Have a listen to it here:

(8 months and 2 days old)

Other musings and favourites of Rowan at 8 months (noted down partially to remind me for his scrapbook pages) include -

Pulling up to standing
Sitting on the floor of the kitchen watching Matt and I cooking
His 'First Words' books and 'Hello Little Chick' book
Making choices (between two objects, mainly toys, books or foods; we say their name and hold the two in front of him. You see his eyes dart back and forth a few times before he erupts in a huge smile and grabs his chosen object)
LMFAO's Party Rock Anthem (strangely...)
Getting into my jewellery stand (now babyproofed)
Everything and anything that Nana (my Mum) says illicits a smile or laugh
Favourite toys are coloured stacking rings, TV remote controls; and of course...
Soft bunny (comfort toy, already bedraggled-looking!)
Teething was not fun this month - tooth #3 is now through with #4 not far behind, plenty of near-sleepless nights with these. :(

And a few recent photos to finish:

Standing at Nana's house

(and on me too)

This is 'soft bunny', a very common sight around here lately!

Getting into mischief with one of my necklaces...

This all seems so long ago now (Rowan was seven days old here and I can't believe how BIG that hat was on him then, it was my favourite of his newborn hats)

Blog Re-design

2011-12-07T17:15:00.000+11:00

I've been fiddling with layotus over the last day or so, and think I've decided on this. Let me know if it displays funny on your computers and/or other devices, and if the font is readable (I think it is, but that's all subjective!).

Our Christmas Tree

2011-12-04T10:30:00.000+11:00

Despite having a mobile baby in the house, we decided to put up our Christmas tree this year. It feels great to have such an outwardly sign of Christmas in the house, and is filling me with relaxation in the evening when the lights are on (mainly after Rowan's gone to bed, as to not be too tempting for him!).

The first day he tried everything in his power to get to the tree, since then he's been looking at it but not too focused (thankfully). That all might change soon when there's a few presents underneath, but we'll see!

Journalling reads: "Rowan has been so very interested in the changes to the loungeroom for Christmas, from helping Daddy with the lights to touching the decorations. Since he is getting so mobile now, we have had to put the coffee table in front of the tree as to form a barrier. Hopefully by another couple of years we’ll be able to move it away again!..."

Credits:
Kit & Alpha: Glad Tidings
Template: Photo Blends Templates - Scrapping with Liz
Font: Segoe Print

I'm loving the idea of celebrating Christmas with a baby for the first time. <3

Rowan at 7.5 Months

2011-11-24T17:32:00.000+11:00

Rowan has reached an age where he’s beginning to really express his preferences – the yells and laughs are both aplenty, and it’s quite amusing to see what he finds funny (mainly strange sounds, being gently ‘thrown’ onto the big bed, taking a toy out of our hands, banging his hands on the high chair and, most recently breastfeeding...?)

And good grief, everything is about standing lately. Pull over box of toys? Great to stand up against. Couch? Got it covered. Pull runner off the coffee table? Ten times a day, thankyouverymuch. Little mister adventure, anything that should and shouldn’t be pulled on suddenly is. He’s exhausting work, though I feel guilty admitting it because he does it all with a gleeful look on his face. Daytime naps are still okay (although I’m listening to Rowan gleefully banging his feet against the side of the wall through the cot slats instead of napping; it’s the point of no return now – no napping and he’ll be up until bedtime *le sigh*). Nighttimes are a bit hit and miss though, alternating through sleeping through and waking every 2 hours or so – exhausting work when your body doesn’t get the chance to get through one or the other. We both had colds last week, and at the tail end of his, Rowan started teething again – he’s got an ulcer spot on one of his top front teeth so I’m expecting that through within the next couple of weeks (unless it goes back up into the gum, hope not though). One of the girls in mother’s group said that when baby’s re-learning to breastfeed with a top tooth it makes for interesting times and feeding is never quite the same again, comfort-wise. I’m not sure what to think about that, I know that we’ll get through it just like every other feeding challenge we’ve faced. Those of you who have breastfed children with a mouthful of teeth, reassure me will you?

(more on feeding, I’m supposed to be updating my first aid certification tomorrow morning – getting ready for working next year - and with Rowan up early today and refusing an afternoon nap I haven’t had the chance to pump... unless I can get more than the 20ml I have so far, doesn’t look as though I’ll be going :/)

Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful... incredibly grateful. It's just that sometimes when you haven't had much sleep it can get on top of you - I'm only human after all, and we've all been there whether through babies, children, insomnia or a combination or the three!

I must remember this face, and how quickly it's changing - with its bumps and scratches, lumps and dribble/citrus rashes, blue-grey eyes becoming brown - on the path from baby to impending toddlerhood.

o_O

2011-11-18T17:18:00.001+11:00

Another week and another milestone, so it seems.

Rowan was satisfied with simply crawling for a couple of weeks. And then he sat (I know, reverse order!). And now this:

That was fast o_O
(7 months & 1 week old)

Wordless Wednesday

2011-11-09T17:23:00.001+11:00

Okay... so maybe not so wordless.

A few of my fellow bloggers have been participating in this lately and I thought since I'm starting to use this blog a bit more again, time to jump on board (I take a lot of photos as it is; friends will attest to this! :P).

Also thinking of a bit of a redesign around here, not quite sure what yet but if you see some strange layouts things happening, you'll know why! ;)

What's that? Wordless Wednesday involves a picture? Okay then, here you go:

7 Months Old

2011-11-07T15:35:00.000+11:00

I love playful morning faces <3

Rowan is seven months old today.

It's been one heck of a busy month for him, learning to crawl and in the last couple of days, sit up on his own (I always thought sitting happened before crawling, but I've been proven wrong!).

Food is becoming less of a plaything and more about gimmee-gimmee-gimmee!! (current favourites are strawberries - still! - lamb, bananas, Vegemite on toast, shepherd's pie, chicken rissoles, Weetbix and couscous) Rowan eats two solid meals a day (lunch and dinner) and has 5-6 milk feeds also.

His sleep is going really consistantly again at the moment, napping twice a day for 1.5-2hrs apiece, and sleeping through the night. I'm incredibly thankful for this and don't know whether it's tied to food intake throughout the day or just the developmental stage he's at currently. Either way, I'm not complaining. ;)

Rowan is discovering more about picking things up with his fingers rather than the whole hand (think like a 'claw' arcade machine; no way near a pincer grip of course but definitely more fingers are involved than palm these days).

What else? Miss Polly Had a Dolly is a current favourite song (taking over from 5 Little Ducks), household objects are WAY more fun to play with than toys - especially washing on the clothes rack! - and hubby and I are thinking that Rowan's beginning to reach out with his arms a little in preparation for being picked up. He's a real Mummy's boy at the moment, Mummy makes everything better apparently (but Daddy is the one who gets the belly laughs :D).

Eating lunch at the showgrounds during a warm Melbourne day.

'Helping' Daddy in the garden over the weekend. Dirt is good for the immune system. ;)

Wedding Anniversary

2011-11-04T22:18:00.001+11:00

On November 1st, Matt and I celebrated our third wedding anniversary, and our first as parents. We didn't do anything flashy, just cooked together and reminisced a little. It was a nice cosy evening (even better that Rowan went down to sleep first time around without any hassle - or as we call it - theatrics).

How things change in the space of a year...

I was 19 weeks pregnant here.

We were trying to take a photo of the three of us with the remote shutter and Rowan immediately started fussing with hunger, so we went with it. ;)

Crawling

2011-10-31T08:35:00.001+11:00

Rowan surprised us all last weekend by learning to crawl.

Really, I shouldn't have been all that surprised as he's been doing a scooting kind of action for about a month now - but he figured out how to co-ordinate his arms and legs together, and now with the speed of his movements you'd have thought he'd been crawling for ages (not just a week!!).

Yes, baby-proofing has officially started (of course, Rowan gives us a fairly good guide as to what needs further work; he's into everything).

See Exhibit A:

Yep, just a small snippet of Rowan "helping" me clean. ;)

On Breastfeeding

2011-10-24T13:23:00.003+11:00

click image to enlarge

I’ve been doing some thinking recently, looking back over Rowan’s pictures of him as a newborn as I’ve scrapbooked his life so far. To some, parenting seems to come fairly easily – I thought it would for me because of my background as a preschool teacher... but I was wrong. The first three months were bloody hard, I’ll admit now. Maybe it was the sleep deprivation that I didn’t cope with very well, or the fact that Rowan and I had such trouble getting the hang of breastfeeding. I don’t know. But what I do know is that things got better.

I reached out when I found myself falling into a bottomless pit of dread and anxiety (especially about daytime sleep times and post-3pm when I’d find myself clock-watching until Matt got home from work). I got busy with my Mother’s Group, I started talking to my own Mum about my experiences, I tried to get back into my hobbies again. Life was being consumed by all things baby, baby, baby!

Forming a positive breastfeeding relationship with Rowan was one of the turning points for me. Sure, we’d been breastfeeding up until that point but because of the pain associated with his poor latch (it was discovered this was due to head/jaw/neck issues resulting from positioning in the womb and at birth by an osteopath and was treated accordingly... oh the difference it made over a two-month period!!) it wasn’t all that enjoyable for me. Simply put, I remember turning up to a maternal health check-up with Rowan early because I couldn’t bear to be at home alone in my house anymore while he made mincemeat out of my left nipple! I was almost begging for permission from the health nurse to stop breastfeeding. Yes, I said it – I wanted to stop nourishing my baby.

But things got better. The sores and cracks healed, the sensitivity lessened. Rowan relaxed and so did I. He got into a pattern of daytime sleeping (and slept for longer periods during the night) and life became more predictable.

Six and-a-half months later, it has gotten easier. Three naps have become two (but are longer), he’s getting mobile and playing together is more interactive than it has ever been. Sure, there are difficult parts – teeth and breastfeeding aren’t always a good mix, but Rowan only tends to bite when he’s distracted and latching on poorly (with his tongue going above the nipple instead of below). All in all, he’s very gentle when feeding and is absolutely relishing his milk... he drinks it so fast these days too!

Breastfeeding for six months is not only a milestone for us, but also a wonderful act too. I’ve come to enjoy it, and the relaxing hormones that it sends throughout both our bodies.

Newborn Rowan

2 months

6 months.

6 Months Old

2011-10-07T17:23:00.001+11:00

Happy half-birthday to you, Rowan... six months old today!
Seriously, the time has flown, though at the same time it's difficult to imagine life without you in it (spare time? What's that?!). In the past month your face has changed considerably, and you're looking like a much older baby now. You're super-long (we'll be getting you weighed and measured next week, so not really sure where you're at; people try to guess your age and we've recently been told 'around eight months' o_O).

See exhibit A:

Rowan with Nana (my Mum) at the Tulip Festival this week.

It's funny though, you have SUCH a long body but a tiny head. I've been looking for a Summer hat for you recently and the only ones that actually fit are 0-3 month sized! As it turns out, tiny hats are only purely cosmetic, they don't protect heads from the sun like they should, so I'm not sure what we'll be doing this Summer (sorry Rowan, you take after your Mum in the tiny head department!).

You're also on the move, rolling and scooting around with the greatest of ease - you're beginning to get on all fours and rock back and forth! We think you'll be crawling soon, scarily enough. Independence is your middle name at the moment, you'd much rather be playing on the floor - preferably on your tummy - than cuddling your Mum or Dad. Sure, you're cuddly sometimes, but that's usually when you're sleepy or wanting to chill out.

You are very interested in people's faces and will reach out to touch their mouths and/or noses when they're holding you. Being sung to is pretty cool in your world, you currently love Five Little Ducks.

We've started introducing you to food in the past six weeks and have adopted a babyled weaning approach, meaning that instead of purees and mashes, you're learning to feed yourself real table food. This was a little scary at first - I was worried you'd choke! - but you're learning about what the right amount of food to put in your mouth is, and getting better at not gagging. In fact, you're practicing chewing motions lately and it's really fun to see! Some of your favourite foods so far have been toast, strawberries, green beans, sweet corn (on the cob), yoghurt, cucumber and cheddar cheese. You seem to prefer red meat over white meat currently too. There hasn't been a huge amount of food that you haven't liked as you put everything into your mouth with such excitement! We're having fun introducing you to food, and you enjoy having lunch and dinner 'at the table' like a big boy.

All in all, the past month has been a time of firsts: first foods, first cold, first tooth (!), first plane trip and more.

We love you Rowan. :)

Peeking out of your cot after a nap

Attitude faces... already?!

This was when you were feeling unwell with a cold :(

Enjoying tomato and bacon gnocchi

You have interesting approaches to eating food sometimes. ;)

You love the 'Jolly Jumper'

With your extended family (Dad's side) in Tasmania in September - this was where we got married in 2008!

Learning to crawl is serious business!

Rowan and Mummy in the tulips

4 Months Old Today

2011-08-07T14:44:00.000+10:00

Rowan turned 4 months old today, and I think that it's safe to assume that teething is imminent....

Drooling? Check.

Irritability? Check.

Chewing and biting on everything? Check.

Look out world!

Rowan's Rolling!

2011-08-03T15:04:00.000+10:00

My son Rowan learnt how to roll onto his tummy this week, and now there's no stopping him - he's officially on the move!

Here's a video of his latest efforts:

One Year Ago

2011-07-30T20:23:00.001+10:00

It was a year ago tomorrow that I found out we were expecting our first child. Having gone through endometriosis surgery, chemically-induced menopause for six months, trying to conceive unsucessfully for nearly two years, discovering that my fallopian tubes were in fact blocked and ultimately going through in-vitro fertilisation (IVF), we were due some good news... and that particularly piece of news was due on April 7th, 2011.

I remember the day before I tested, only 7 days post-embryo transfer and being out shopping with my best friend, having to empty my bladder seemingly every half hour, and not putting two and two together until the evening, when a feeling of what I can only describe as 'oddness' coming over me. Waking cautiously (and nerviously) at 5.30am that following morning, I saw this:

Feint, but definitely a second line!

Hubby didn't really believe the result of the test (this was an 'internet cheapie' test strip, part of a bundle I brought on eBay several months earlier), and wanted me to test using a "real" test. So I did the following day...

No doubt about it, we were pregnant!

I cried seeing a heartbeat (and briefly breathed a sigh of relief at there being only one!) at our 7 week ultrasound, and then again at 13 weeks when it showed a baby-shaped foetus instead of a blob.

7 weeks

13 weeks

At 20 weeks, we found out that we were expecting a boy (much to our surprise; I'd been having major GIRL vibes!), and started planning the bedroom, buying cute clothing and all of the excitement that goes along with pregnancy.

20 weeks

As the months passed, my body changed shape and expanded to accomodate a tiny human, and with every kick, thump and wobble I would be thankful for the opportunity to carry a child (yes, even when the sore back and constant heartburn kicked in).

It was on my birthday (exactly a month before you were born, as it turns out) we settled on the name Rowan, hubby signing my birthday card from both him and the baby, and we kept this a secret from everyone until the big day.

And so I continued to grow the not-so-tiny human we had affectionately dubbed "Manatee"...

Oh boy....

Before we knew it, I was 39 weeks pregnant and I went into labour, waking at 1.30am one morning with cramps and a sore back. 34 hours later, you were here (you can read the full birth story on this page).

Minutes old, our little Mr Serious.

What a year it has been, now I watch you at 3.5 months sleeping in hubby's arms contently, tired out from a day of play and discovery. Thank you Rowan for letting us be your parents.

The Voice

2011-07-18T10:32:00.000+10:00

My little Rowan man is 14.5 weeks old, and just over three months. As I type this, I can hear his newly-discovered voice coming from the other side of the room. It's amusing, before he'd have different tones for different needs (ie, sleep or food) but now that he's discovered volume, the same sound is used for everything.

Happy about being fed? Aaaaa-woah-aaaaa.Hungry? Aaaaa-woah-aaaaa.
Tired? Aaaaa-woah-aaaaa.
Chatty? Aaaaa-woah-aaaaa.
Joining in singing? Aaaaa-woah-aaaaa
The saga continues. Of course, both hubby and I are rapt at this new development - our son has a voice! And a beautiful (yet robust) one at that. Every day he is becoming more and more active too, and has tried rolling onto his side a few times (his head is still a bit heavy) from front to back. I'm guessing it won't be too long, I reckon he'll be successful sometime in the next month... and then the babyproofing officially begins, so to speak. ;)

We've also entered the everything-goes-in-the-mouth stage.

Here's a video of Rowan demonstrating his vocal skillz:

Recent pictures:

12 weeks

13 weeks

12 weeks

13 weeks

14 weeks

Rowan is 8 Weeks Old

2011-06-04T22:00:00.003+10:00

Rowan is now eight weeks old (I know... it's all passed quite quickly!), and making leaps and bounds in discovering the big wide world. The latest discovery has been his hands, and he has been attempting to smoosh his fingers (and fist!) into his mouth at any given occasion. He's also using this as a signal for wanting to feed, so it's keeping me on my toes, as if I don't catch this cue it often escalates into full-on screeching.

Actually, screeching is kind of inaccurate, it's more like a yell. He surprises those he meets with his big, deep cries - which is disproportionate to his petite frame. Rowan is a very long baby, and is longer than many of the babies in our Mother's Group... including those who are 12 and 13 weeks old. We think Rowan is going to be one tall child as he gets older....!

Rowan's smiles light up our world, he especially likes eye contact during nappy change times. He starts with a little, close-mouthed lopsided smile, which becomes a huge grin - a true 'D' face (and nearly an 'O' fac as he wildly contorts his face in extreme excitement.

People are starting to weigh in on who Rowan looks like. He resembles my baby pictures quite a bit, with a similar eye shape and lips to me. He also may have my unruly curly/wavy hair, as he has a few long strands on top of his head that are refusing to co-operate! Secretly I'd be thrilled by this, as I envisioned a little boy with wavy hair when I was pregnant with him. Rowan appears to have hubby's wide nostrils and hairline. It will be interesting to see how his physical appearance changes in the coming months.

He had his two-month immunisations during the week, which broke my heart to see him cry out in pain and surprise as the injections went in (my eyes welled up a little too). He was cranky and a bit drowsy for two days, but came good afterwards. I was on fever-watch for the first 24 hours, but thankfully his temperature remained normal.

After getting clearance from my obstetrician at six weeks, I've started getting back into soem gentle fitness. Just walking at the moment, but tackling hills and steep paths as my legs and ankles remember how to work again (with the IVF and pregnancy, it had essentially been a year since I'd been active). It feels good, despite knowing that the weather is cooling and the winds getting chillier. I've been carrying Rowan in the Babyhawk (a mei-tei carrier) while walking, which gives me my arms free, and keeps him warm and anuggly against my body too.

Breastfeeding continues to alternate between being easy and being a struggle. Rowan has successfully weaned off the nipple shield (which I'd been wearing on my left side during feeds since he was four days old) and with his rooting reflex gone, he's had to work harder to draw in either nipple when feeding. The right side has always been his preference, so we've been working strongly to get him feeding as confidently on the left side. I've had a few visits to the lacatation consultant, bared my chest to maternal health nurses, numerous nights in tears as Rowan detaches and I find bloody tissue where the end of my nipple is. It's still healing, but we're finally getting there... or so I think (I'm alternating between expressing milk for him and offering him that side - it can't cope with the 2-3 hourly feeds just yet, especially with such a strong suck!). Hopefully when I write next I can say that these troubles are behind us. :)

Here are a few pictures of the little man (who is quickly losing his 'newbornness')

Tummy time at five weeks old

Rowan and I at six weeks, in a jumpsuit that I didn't think would fit him for at least another month!

Seven weeks old

Seven weeks old and watching on as hubby codes his sister's business website.

Smiles at eight weeks

Gorgeous long eyelashes in profile. <3

Rowan's Birth Story (long)

2011-04-24T22:19:00.000+10:00

Rowan (otherwise known as Manatee) came into the world peacefully. Whether this is a reflection of his future personality it remains to be seen, but his birth was what I can describe as a positive experience, and one I do not have any regrets or negativity about.

His birth story starts in the early hours of Wednesday morning, when I was 39 weeks and 1 day pregnant, around 1.30am to be exact. I found myself waking up from sleep with period-style cramps that weren’t relieved by using the toilet, walking around or anything else. It was a little odd because up until that point I’d been having only Braxton Hicks contractions, and no other early labour sign except it being the month of his due date that birth was imminent. Although, thinking about it now, my body had been progressively cleansing the bowel for the past week. Since I was also taking some liquid preparations from my naturopath I didn’t think much of it, as her brews often tend to have that effect on me anyway – so it remains to be seen whether this was a sign or not.

Back to the story. The cramping was creeping into my back during the early hours of that morning, and that struck me as unusual (as BH are on the front only). My Mum’s words also passed through my mind, as she said back pains were part of the beginning of labour onset in her pregnancies. As the hours passed, the cramping became more regular, and Matt suggested we time them – they were roughly 10-15 minutes apart, and lasting about 30 seconds at a time. Sleeping through them wasn’t really working, so I ended up spending some time online instead while the dark of night progressed into the morning’s dawn.

By 8.30am the cramping (which I was now identifying as contractions, as they had peaks and ebbs) was coming in 5-10 minute intervals and I decided to phone the midwives at my hospital to get some advice. They said that it might be the early beginnings or labour, and to keep in touch during the day if things progressed, and to finish any last-minute hospital bag packing. Come 10.30am the contractions had eased back again and were becoming irregular – disappointing because both Matt and I were starting to think that this was it and were getting a little excited! (note: I now know that it was the way I was leaning back into the couch that slowed down the contractions, throughout the labour leaning back in a similar way caused a distinct slow down of progress)

Disappointed, we went about the rest of our day with as much normality as possible - I did a little light cleaning, spent time on the computer, watched TV etc. At about 4pm, my body cleaned itself out one last time (I think that made six times that day!) and the contractions started coming swiftly once more. 15 minutes apart, then 10 minutes, and then 5 minutes! No longer could I sit through them, but was instead pacing around a lot, leaning forward and using the kitchen bench as support when they were intense. I decided that it was time to get Jesse looked after, in case we had to leave home during the night, and Mum and Chris came to get him. I was a little teary at this point in time, having a case of the self-doubts about labour and birth, and seeing Mum really helped my emotional state.

Tired after little sleep the night before, Matt convinced me to try and relax in bed for a little while and we watched a documentary on the laptop (I dozed in between contractions). I had two very painful ones in a row and found myself clinging to Matt, and a sense of warmth between my legs (by this point we’d had towels under me “just in case”). I waddled to the bathroom to find that I had lost my mucous plug and a fair leak of bright red blood with it – time to call the hospital!

They advised me to shower, put on a fresh towel/pad and wait it out for half an hour before coming in, which was easier said than done because immediately the contractions were ramping up (and I was a little hesitant – I’d had no bleeding whatsoever during the pregnancy). I made some time to quickly update online with the news while Matt was trying to rush me around and saying it was time to leave! Hey, did you expect any less? ;)

Luckily there wasn’t much traffic at that time of night (11pm-ish) and Matt was quite hasty in his driving with the 15 minute trip to the hospital (he made it in 10 minutes :P), despite me telling him we had ‘heaps of time’. I was taken through immediately to a birth suite, and genuinely surprised by how quiet and calm the whole area was – it turns out that there were no other labouring women there that night, I later found out. My blood/fluid leak was analysed and I was told by one of the midwives that I was “in the very beginning stages of early labour” and that I simply was having “a very bloody show” (bloody scary to me though!). I was told that they would admit me, give me Panadol and a mild sleeping tablet to get some rest, and would continue labouring in the morning.

Cue me feeling very disappointed! I felt like I’d really let myself down and I resigned myself to the bed after taking the offered cup.

However, it was impossible to get any rest, especially laying down and I continued to waddle around and eventually had another ‘show’ within a couple of hours, with quite a bit more plug. A second midwife wanted to examine it and quickly called the first woman back into the room, offering an internal check, which I took them up on. Imagine the visibly shocked look on the first midwife’s face when the second said I was dilated 5cm already and well beyond early labour – we’ll be having this baby today, she said (I *knew* it!).

For the rest of the early morning hours until the dawn, I spent time pacing and standing between contractions, and the bliss of the birthing bath. Matt was feeding me snacks for energy (bits of museli bar, soft jube lollies etc – eventually I didn’t want the water anymore though and went back to my pacing/bracing against a bench). And this is where things start to blur more – I now know that I dilated from 5-8cm fairly quickly and was stuck there for several hours, was beginning to drop into micro-sleeps between contractions (I remember weird lucid thoughts – also can’t place any now - combined with hallucinations and all sorts of odd things), and my obstetrician was called. I was made to lie on my back while waiting for him and that was incredibly painful – he was at the neighbouring hospital at the time and it took longer than expected for him to come in. From my records this was around 8.30am. He did an internal examination (again, very painful as he was trying to determine whether my membranes had ruptured as yet; it was eventually decided that no – they had not – and gave me the news that the baby was still posterior at this point). I was also given the option at this point to have my membranes ruptured, which I thought long and hard about between two contractions before deciding to go for it. This was the only intervention I had during the labour, and shortly after I hit transition.

Matt tells me that this was about the time I stopped speaking between contractions and got a bit primal. I was on all fours on the bed, supporting my top half over the head of it and supported by pillows (similar to the standing position I had assumed for most of the night; by now my legs weren’t supporting me anymore). The contractions were very intense, almost on top of each other, and I was going through a little bit of doubt in my ability to birth this baby. I was beginning to bear down unconsciously and went to the toilet for a bit, where I proceeded to tell the midwife that I needed to empty my bowels again (yes, you can probably tell where this is heading).

The midwife smiled, got a chair and sat in the doorway of the bathroom where she told me to push if I felt the need and that I could have this baby on the toilet if I wished (I’m still not sure whether she was trying to humour me, or if she was telling the truth!). I was bearing down and several times I moved my hand to see whether I could feel anything, and was surprised to feel a bulge (not the head, but muscle/tissue). Pretty cool actually. Because my pushing wasn’t being overly productive, the midwife checked me again – this time on the bed – and announced that I was “a stretchy 9.5cm”. Huzzah! Between contractions she moved the last little lip of cervix that was in the way (can I say ouch??) which made me at 10cm and fully dilated.

I was shown how to push during contractions, and to bear down several times during each one (as opposed to one long push). My hands were around my ankles for leverage and this was quite a productive position, all things considering. I remember seeing the trolley and cot being set up at this point and thinking inwardly it’s nearly time! My obstetrician was called again and Matt was on my right side, up near my head (I can’t remember whether he was touching me or just sitting nearby while I laboured; what I do remember was that he was full of positive affirmations, telling me that I was ‘doing so well’). At some point in the last two hours, the baby had turned anterior (finally!!) which meant that no suction or forceps would probably be required, which I was told may happen if he remained posterior.

I wouldn’t call pushing the most difficult part of the labour, it was a means to an end at this point, and even though I was exhausted, I was excited that our baby was nearly here. The OB and midwife invited Matt to come and see the baby’s head (still inside me at this point, but coming down more with every push), he surprised me by having a look – as originally he’d said that he wasn’t too keen on being at the ‘business end’ (and later on remarked that it was very cool to see; I wish I’d have seen too – I forgot to ask for a mirror!). As the baby crowned, I got to feel the head and discovered that the ‘ring of fire’ that I’d heard so much about was entirely true! Oooh... sharp agony! I tore slightly, but not all that badly, and was made to pant a little between certain pushes, as they checked for the cord around the baby’s neck. The head was fully out!

This was the single-most surreal moment of the entire birth, waiting between those two contractions while having a head hanging out of my nether regions. Because the rest of the baby’s body was still inside me and attached to the placenta at this point, he wasn’t breathing yet – he was still and perfectly peaceful with eyes closed. I remember being concerned and asked if this was normal, I was assured that yes it was. It seemed to take forever for the next contraction to hit (almost five minutes, according to Matt) and I pushed and pushed as his shoulders were worked out and suddenly with the biggest feeling of emptying suddenly he was earthside at 11.23am and was accompanied by a gush of miscellaneous fluids and substances! Matt and I were surprised by how tiny he looked, and by the fair hair on his head!

The baby took his first breath and surprised me with the ferocity of his lung capacity, startle reflex active, and was placed on my chest where he immediately calmed and wrinkled his forehead in what appeared to be serious thought. Within a few minutes the placenta detached and was carefully birthed (intact).

“Does he have a name yet?” the midwife asked, while the cord continued to pulsate as blood was returned to the baby.

Matt and I looked at each other and nodded, knowing who this little soul was.

“Yes... his name is Rowan”, I said with a smile, speaking his name to his face for the first time.

After Matt had cut the cord and the obstetrician had finished tidying me up (he smiled and said I did ‘all the work’, making it easy on him), we were given close to an hour of uninterrupted time in the dimly-lit room to get to know our baby. We touched his beautiful skin, remarked on his tiny nose, the shape of his fingernails that resembled my own, and his seemingly-oversized feet. After our journey of infertility and IVF, our little manatee – our Rowan – was here and he was worth everything.

Life with Rowan

2011-04-23T09:55:00.001+10:00

Rowan is now sixteen days old, and already I can see that he is growing and changing. He is now 53.5cm (up 2.5cm from his birth length) and weighs 7lb 8oz (up from 7lb 2oz - or 3225g - at birth). Head circumference is 34cm, up 1cm. Not bad for two weeks and being nourished from my milk alone!

He is beginning to be more alert after feeds, and will sometimes be awake for 30-60min afterward, which means we can fit lots of cuddle time in before his sleeps. His eyes will try to focus and sometimes he goes a little cross-eyed. But Rowan is very much a serious soul so far, like his Dad.

We have been attempting to settle him into a predictable routine and so far, so good. He is a pretty good sleeper, and will sleep for 2-3 hours at a time - and when we time it correctly means a feed around 11pm or midnight, one between 2-3am and another between 6-7am (by which time the sun has started to come up and it doesn't feel like a 'night' feed, giving the illusion of less getting up at night).

However, that's not to say that every day/night has been easy, both hubby and I are learning to adjust to life with a baby, and the loss of personal time. Luckily for me, hubby has had time off work since Rowan was born, meaning that I've been able to nap during the day a little bit and we've shared nappy changes and comfort etc. Hubby has taken to parenthood like a duck to water, and it amazes me how much of a natural he seems (whereas I was worried about mishandling or dropping Rowan for the first few days; he was so tiny!).

My post-partum healing has been a bit up-and-down, after beginning to cramp and bleed more heavily after the first ten days. I'm being treated for a pelvic infection (and yes, that's as painful as it sounds!) and have been passing rather thick, tissue-y clots for the past 24 hours. I'm hoping that this leftover membrane is what my body has been trying hard to get rid of, as I'm feeling more comfortable this morning, and the blood flow appears to have slowed down for now *crosses fingers*. I'm trying to take it a bit easier too, as I think I've been doing a little too much, too soon.

Feeding is going well now, after a sluggish start. We're using a nipple shield on the left side as Rowan isn't keen on drawing the nipple in as yet, but is feeding like a champ this way. After working on positioning his head properly, he's getting a much better latch than he was originally (he used to detatch every minute or so, which had me concerned that he wasn't getting all the milk he needed). Having said that, my supply is much bigger on the right side, there's almost a full cup size difference between my breasts at the moment - I've been working at expressing to increase the supply on my left, but it hasn't made a huge difference so far. Still, given my whole supply it seems the perfect amount for him at present. :)

8 days old.

Wide-eyed and alert at 9 days old.

Rowan's first 'proper' outfit before his two week visit to the maternal health centre (and first visit at 'Nana's' house; my Mum)

Showing us his neck strength at 13 days old.

And lastly, what a difference 2.5 weeks can make! The picture on the left was taken at 38.5 weeks (about 5 days before the birth) and the one on the right was taken two days ago.

Due Date

2011-04-12T23:21:00.003+10:00

Today is my due date... however I am not sitting here pregnant, I am now the proud mother of a son.

Rowan Kenneth Christopher Webb was born on April 7th at 11.23am (7lb 2oz, or 3225g; 51cm) after labouring for close to 36 hours. He is on the smaller side and we're both genuinely surprised - although it seems as though he followed a similar growth curve to me (I was born at 38 weeks and weighed 6lb 13oz; Rowan was born at 39 weeks and 2 days). The first day was spent labouring at home, and the last eleven hours at the hospital. I'm happy to say that Rowan was born as a result of a natural, drug-free birth, and we arrived home on Monday.

Now it is a matter of getting into a new routine, a new kind of normal. Motherhood is both exhausting and exciting (there are triumphs and challenges), and in a way it seems that after the years of infertility I'll suddenly wake up to find that this has all been just a dream! But it's not, I snuggle our little boy and know that it has all been worth it.

Welcome to the world, Rowan. We're glad that you're here earthside. :)

For more pictures, see his gallery.

Rowan's first picture, only minutes old.
[click on any picture in this post to see it bigger]

Preparing to be weighed and measured.

Family picture, about 2hrs after the birth.

Rowan's manatee plushie, and a brilliantly awesome card from his Auntie Marisa.

Father and son time. <3

Rowan rocks turquoise for the first time.

Homecoming!

Sweet dreams at 6 days old.

Pregnancy Progression

2011-03-31T22:54:00.000+11:00

As I'm nearly at the tail end of this pregnancy, while I still have time on my hands I thought it'd be fun to do a bit of a belly picture montage from over the last nine months.

How far I've come - August 2010 seems almost like a distant memory....

Click image to see it bigger

A Dream

2011-03-30T11:25:00.002+11:00

I had one of my first 'baby' dreams last night.

That might strike some of you as odd, but throughout this pregnancy I haven't had many - in fact, in most of my dreams I'm not even pregnant! Unconsciously I feel some of this is linked to the struggles we had to get pregnant in the first place, and not wanting to pin all my hopes on an optimistic outcome. However, this has seemed to progress throughout the last few months, or at least in my dreams.

Occasionally I have flashes of who I think this little boy will be, but last night it was very vivid. I dreamt of him as a newborn, and again a little bit older (around age 1?). He had dark, straight hair like my husband, a pronounced little chin and very dark brown eyes. There were first gummy smiles, nappy blow-outs and an incident of him vomiting in a pair of my shoes (?). Cutting to when he was that little bit older, he resembled my brother more, with fairer hair and a higher forehead. I remember exclaiming that I wasn't involved in the conception of this child, as he looked like everyone else but me!

It will be exciting to finally meet this little soul, stroking his cheek and saying his name aloud. Not too long now. :)

38 Weeks

2011-03-29T12:31:00.000+11:00

There are only two weeks until my due date, and this means that our little man will make his appearance sometime within the next four weeks (although selfishly I'm ready to meet him now; he can continue to put on extra body fat within me for the time being).

I wonder if I'll be writing a 39 week entry next, or whether it'll be an 'arrival' post... hmmm??

All is doing well over here, baby is continuing to become engaged, and our doctor is no longer concerned about his growth - he hasn't mentioned any additional scans at this point *thumbs up*. I did, however, test positive for Group B Strep, which means I'll be on an antibiotic during labour. Not really what I wanted, but if it keeps us both safe then that's all that matters. I hover between being excited about birth and terrified about labour. It's like getting your period when you're not on the contraceptive Pill - you kind of know when it's going to happen but you don't have the ability to control when it will be here... the same goes for birth. Will it be fast? Slow? Drawn-out over 24 hours? Involve a will-we-make-it-to-the-hospital-in-time dash in the middle of the night?

I've been nesting a little bit more lately, in the form of cleaning and cooking. Nothing crazily out-of-control, but I get random bursts of frantic energy (and then usually I'm tired by the next day). Scrapbooking in the evenings has become the norm for me, and during the day I'm spending a little more time at home than I've been in previous weeks. While a quick trip to the local shops isn't as much of an ordeal as it was when my back was incredibly sore around the 28-34 week mark, it still takes it out of me (not to mention the apartment stairs!), and I have to plan accordingly for when I'm feeling energetic.

We had a little scare the other day involving the baby not moving as much as normal, and I did all sorts of things to try and encourage him to move. As it turns out, he was either running out of space or having a longer sleeping period (I didn't feel him for 5-6 hours), and was back to his normal wriggling by last night - even keeping me up during the night with lots of active movement! This little one is definitely going to keep us on our toes once he's in the big, wide world. ;)

37 weeks & 5 days

Great Expectations

2011-03-19T19:09:00.002+11:00

I've been working on my pregnancy scrapbook (digitally) since Christmas, on and off with a few other projects - namely Project 365 and various pages related to challenges on a website. Last night I scrapped on my my favourite pages to date, which documented a struggle to have a child.

I wanted to share it with you because not only am I proud of how it turned out, but it also shows our ultrasounds and a recent tummy picture (taken on March 8th, at 34 weeks). Thinking that with some modifications - mainly removing the text - it'll be the front of the scrapbook once it's ready to be printed. :)

Click image to see it bigger.

35 Weeks

2011-03-14T20:45:00.000+11:00

I find it difficult to believe that tomorrow I'll be nine months pregnant with our son. The little boy who I always hoped would come into our lives but I dared not pin my hopes on. The countdown to his birth is on - while I find myself complaining about Braxton Hicks contractions and added pressure on my bladder, at the same time I don't really want to wish these weeks away.

Will he be born around his due date (April 12th)? Early? Overdue? Who knows!

Perhaps the events of this past week will shed some light on the time ahead (or not!). I hadn't realised it until the doctor mentioned on Thursday that the baby has dropped - he's also "very low" apparently and is engaged in my pelvis. Though to what degree I'm not sure yet, I'll ask him at the next appointment. Either way, with this knowledge and the increasing (mild) cramping I've been having lately, they're all positive signs that my body is starting to suss out the birthing process. And for that, I'm thankful. :)

Tummy comparision to show you what I mean:

33 weeks & 3 days

35 weeks & 6 days

Some definite changes are happening. :)

In other news, results from the most recent ultrasound show a range of measurements from 31 weeks through to 36 weeks - while this worried me a little at first, talking with other women made me realise that baby measurements can be all over the place and still be okay. Sure, currently it looks like our baby might be born on the smaller side (and I don't deny that I'm carrying him compactly), but if he is a healthy size for him... then that's what matters. Besides, ultrasound weights etc can be off by up to a pound (bigger/smaller).

It has made packing his hospital bag a little more tricky - do I put in 0000-sized clothing or 000-sized? I mainly put in 0000s, but if he is born bigger, it isn't as though hubby can't bring some bigger sizes back with him from home the next day (we live about 10-15min away from the hospital). Still, it's good to know that the bag is packed and ready to go... even if it sits there mocking me until around the 41-week mark! :P

Oh! And baby nook update:

The Mario decals are up and look fantastic!

34 Weeks

2011-03-08T08:46:00.002+11:00

Our last (or so I hope!) growth scan happened during the week and, after letting my doctor's comments about small fundal heights and fluid levels get to me a little, everything appeared to be 'normal'. Sure, I haven't had my follow-up appointment with the doctor as yet, but the fact I didn't get a phonecall within a couple of days of the scan is a good thing *big thumbs up*.

At 34w1d, baby boy (who was again confirmed to be a boy!) weighs in at 4lb8oz (about 2.5kg) and is measuring within a week of his dates - just with very long legs as per usual. I know that ultrasound weights can vary by quite a bit and aren't completely accurate, but it's nice to have that indicator that my body is growing a healthy baby, one that is measuring along the growth curve documented at 20 and 28 weeks via ultrasound. Even if my body needed a hand to have egg and sperm meet in the first place, it's reassuring that it's been possible to have a so-called normal pregnancy (one that doesn't differ from anyone else's, besides a couple of extra scans).

Here's his latest mugshot (though difficult to make out facial details because of bone causing shadows and the fact he's squished down low in my pelvis already) -

34 weeks (click image to see bigger; tilt your head to the right to see his face)

I've now started my maternity leave, which is both exciting and odd at the same time. Only a week into leave and I can feel my responsibilities with the Kindergarten beginning to melt away (although it's been a slow separationl; I haven't been employed in a teaching capacity since January and have been in the office). Part of me worries if the place can survive without me, part of me knows that it can and will - and that before long I'll be a distant memory there too. As I said, it's a little odd. We're lucky here in Australia to have access to up to 18mths leave by being employed by the Education Department - I've applied for the full amount but it's entirely possible that I'll do a little emergency (relief) teaching come 2012 before making the decision on whether to return to my workplace in September.

Pictures from my last day at work before starting maternity leave.

It was also my birthday yesterday (I turned 29). My parents came to visit - Mum in the morning and Dad in the afternoon - and I took myself out for a solo lunch (I'd been craving a big ol' iced chocolate with plenty of cream; it was as tasty as I'd been imagining!). The most special part of the celebrations was Matt's card to me, where he signed it from him and the baby... and wrote down the baby's name.

I'm beyond thrilled that our little man now has a name (presuming we think it still 'fits' him one he's here in this world), and even happier that Matt was able to play a big part in its choosing. Last night I dreamt of our son with his chosen name... and it just felt right. I'm relieved and thankful. :)

34 week tummy, baby's weight is getting heavier in my uterus and I've had some ligament pain again as his sac continues to grow.

Thinking Outside the Square [33 weeks]

2011-02-25T18:09:00.001+11:00

33 weeks (excuse the lack of modesty)

This picture is proof for myself that I am not in fact carrying a square baby (ie, all camped out on one side), and that my tummy actually looks round occasionally.

My fundal height is only measuring 29 weeks, the doctor reported yesterday and I'm being sent for an extra scan on Tuesday to have the baby's growth monitored (as well as fluid levels and placenta function). However, I do have a very long waist and I'm not being kicked up in the ribs much yet - mainly because baby's bottom is facing the ribs, and legs are diagonally out to the left side - rather painful at times as he stretches!

So trying to think positively and that everything will be okay come Tuesday. It's all I can do, right?

What's in a Name? [32 weeks]

2011-02-23T09:06:00.004+11:00

Matt and I had a long overdue chat about baby names last night on the way to antenatal class, and it appears that we have reached a stalemate – he’s stuck on one particular name, and I’m stuck on another. It isn’t a matter of simply using one of the choices as a first name and one for a middle name, as we’ve been long decided on middle names (yes, two names – one honouring each side of the families; he will be… on second thoughts, perhaps I’ll just wait another 7-9 weeks on that one!)

So what does one do when you’re (politely) clashing over such a thing as naming your firstborn? One of us will have to compromise, and we each think the other’s chosen name sounds “pretentious and private school-like”. Mine is apparently effeminate (it’s a unisex name) and his sounds like a Nordic viking. Definitely doesn’t pass the yell-it-out-in-a-crowded-playground-with-a-straight-face test. On the upside, neither name is popular, and I haven’t taught a child with those names (although a past student’s little brother was called the name I’m stuck on, reading a novel earlier this year reminded me of how much I still liked it).

We both admitted to each other that we’re worried about making the wrong choice for this little one, saddling him with a name that’s a lot to live up to, or be the subject of ridicule (does every parent-to-be go through this?). We know that he’ll grow into whatever we decide on, and that within a short time it’ll be difficult to imagine him as anyone except who he is.

But….

I’m torn – do I compromise on something as special as naming rights because this is my husband’s firstborn son?

Do I pull the selfish I-went-through-infertility-and-IVF-and-carried-this-baby-for-nine-months card and refuse to waver?

Is it a matter of putting both names we love to the side and try to concentrate on finding middle ground with a new name? (for the record, this is the fourth name I’ve been stuck on in the past couple of years, and all have been ~~crucified~~ okay, too strong a word – shot down – for various reasons; no more selfish than my own reasoning).

This name debate is beginning to cause me quite a bit of stress, and I have assured Matt that if it isn’t resolved by the time I go into labour, then I will be naming him my choice. He admits that he “doesn’t hate the name as much” as he used to (gee… that’s positive!), but he likes his choice more. Fair and understandable.

Maybe we’ll have to do an ad-hoc Hollywood celebrity job and combine the two names in a hideous mismatch a-la “TomKat”. At least it’ll sound sci-fi then. ;)

On the plus side, he does have a near-finished baby nook now. :)

32 week tummy.

Baby Nook Update

2011-02-13T13:18:00.000+11:00

The cot's assembled! Now to add some of the decorations. ;)

(let's just ignore the other end of said room!)

31 Weeks

2011-02-10T12:58:00.001+11:00

Baby's got the beginnings of a room!

Matt working on the changetable last night.

Operation Baby Nook is continuing to progress, with the walls completed and furniture in the process of being put together. By this time next week, the cot will be in and possibly even the Mario-themed decals will be adorning the walls! Then it will be time to start putting clothing, nappies, blankets (etc) away and pack my hospital bag.

Speaking of which, we have started antenatal classes - which has led me to feel both apprehensive (pain management in labour, and when will my labour begin?) and relieved at the same time (feeling informed and having my silly questions answered). Truth be told, I wasn't sure at first if they were a really good idea, but considering this is our first baby a lot of the information has been useful - even if some of it is just to listen to, rather than take on board.

I had a doctor's appointment this morning and was thrilled to discover that the little man has decided to turn head-down again (in fact, he's quite low - though I was reassured that this has no bearing on preterm labour etc (phew). For the first time, I hadn't gained any scale weight (hurrah! :D), and would like to attribute that to being back at work and eating a bit healthier - but who knows really, it might have been a fluke too.

My back has been acting up something terrible during the past two weeks, and I'm beginning to realise that I have limitations now (who'd have thought I'd be frustrated because I couldn't cope with things like vacuuming??), and that I don't have to be superwoman and can lean on others a little for support - possibly literally at times too! Just taking each day at a time and knowing there will be good days and not-so-good days, and making the most of the good ones.

And in the meantime, working on my pregnancy scrapbook, enjoying the fact that I've only got 2.5 weeks left until maternity leave begins (good timing!) and feeling a squirmy baby poking his feet out at odd angles from my body!

30 Weeks

2011-02-03T13:25:00.000+11:00

30 week belly picture.

Saying "I'm 30 weeks pregnant" makes it all seem so close now, as if I'll magically open my eyes at some point soon and discover that I have a newborn son. The reality is that yes, that will happen, but not before living the next two months of my/our lives.

It'd be an understatement if I said the last week has been easy. I'm back at work and with that means job-sharing with my replacement for maternity leave (she's lovely, but I think I'm going to have to bite my tongue because of our differences in philosophies and/or workloads). However, this will only be for the month of February and I know I can do this - I've always been a 'I like to be in control' type of personality.

Physically, the hot weather has taken a lot out of me (it's the middle of the Australian Summer) and I'm finding myself tired, nursing cankles (!!), finding new stretchmarks and hobbling about with a sore back due to over-extending myself recently. But it's not all doom and gloom, I'm incredibly thankful to actually be pregnant and on the home stretch... I'm also looking forward to some of the things I've missed since July of 2010:

* Eating ice-cream sundaes from McDonalds

* Enjoying sushi

* Climbing stairs without puffing

* Bending down without looking like a frog

* Sleeping comfortably

* Laying on my stomach

* Fitting into some of my old clothing

Having said that, there is lots that I'll miss about pregnancy too once it is over:

* Breasts (enough said!)

* Feeling baby movement in my tummy

* Observing the physical changes that seem to occur almost weekly

* Getting to put my feet up

* Being able to forget about infertility somewhat

29 Weeks

2011-01-29T17:08:00.001+11:00

This week, Operation Baby Nook really stepped up a notch - hubby and I painted the walls today (a very similar green colour to the background of this blog, actually!), and I discovered that his old t-shirts are really quite comfortable indeed! Pictures to come once the furniture (being delivered on Thursday) is set up. :)

However, in the lead-up to painting, this involved clearing the entire contents of our bookshelves - we have a lot of books, and the stacks are currently living in our loungeroom, pushed up against the kitchen bench. Still, a little short-term mess for a whole lot of gain, that's what we're both trying to think!

Personally, I think the stacks look bigger in real life than in this picture.

Baby has been keeping me a little uncomfortable recently with plenty of Braxton Hicks contractions, backache and calf cramps (ouch!). My whole tummy is very firm lately, as the skin and muscles are stretched to capacity (and somehow, I'm able to stretch some more!).

At our most recent doctor's appointment we discovered that he has turned breech again. Considering he's measuring a little ahead (his legs are in the 75th percentile, for example!) surely he's running out of room to turn head-down in time? It's making me a little anxious, to be honest, as if he stays breech it may jeopardise my chances for a natural birth. Still, there's anywhere from 10-13 weeks to go, so I'm just trying to remain calm, encouraging him to turn by adopting certain positions when I'm sitting and (attempting to) go with the flow. After all, if there's something I've learnt about about pregnancy during these past seven months, it's to expect the unexpected... it's impossible to control everything!

In other news, it's been fun to enjoy nights out with friends lately (even if my stamina isn't quite what it used to be), some days it seems as though I have an abundance of energy whereas other times it's as though first trimester lethagy is rearing its head again - it's a matter of taking each day at a time. This time of the year is usually a time of celebration and parties and lazy Summer BBQs, it makes me wonder what life will be like this time next year, seeing as though most of my friends are currently childless. I'd like to hope that I'm having a full and rich life, with the added bonus of love for a baby who will be rapidly approaching a year old by that point.

My best friend (left) and I. I've also needed to make the leap into buying some maternity tops this month, as a lot of my pre-pregnancy clothing is too small now.

28 Weeks (ultrasound pictures)

2011-01-23T23:16:00.002+11:00

Welcome to the third trimester! I did it, we're finally here....yippee! :D

This week we had the pleasure of seeing our gorgeous baby boy again, in a medically-ordered scan (our OB likes his IVF patients to have a 28-week scan as part of pregnancy care; he said it's to make sure that everything is continuing to go on track, as IVF babies can sometimes come earlier than naturally-conceived babies).

However, all looks to be well! Placenta is perfect, baby is weighing in at 1260g (2.5lb) and if he continues to follow the growth curve observed at our 21-week scan and this one, he'll be about 8.5lb at birth. Of course, this is only a guestimate but it's nice to know that he won't likely be an 11lb'er! ;)

Here are a couple of pictures of the little man (who has put on some gorgeous chubby baby fat in the last seven weeks). Go here to see pictures from our previous scans.

I love his profile

Snuggling against the placenta, umbilical cord over his shoulder

Beautiful sleepy face (hubby and I agree that he has my nose!)

27 Weeks

2011-01-22T16:06:00.001+11:00

Operation Baby Nook is well under way, with hubby and I purchasing our nursery furniture on the weekend. We're waiting on it being delivered until we've painted the walls (a work in progress!). The important purchase of the carseat happened this week, as well as a collection of clothing (at a recent sale) that will have our little man clothing until next Summer by the look of it!

All purchased from Mothercare, but without the wardrobe pictured on the left (we got the tallboy to the right instead, as well as a wooden drawer that fits under the cot.

As I mentioned in last week's journal entry, we're going with a warm green for the walls, with some of the colour swatches considered below.

The chosen colour is 'Celery Green' and is the bottom colour on the top-right swatch.

(hubby paints a sample on one of the walls)

My tummy is beginning to get quite firm, and I've noticed that after a big meal it feels as though my stomach is pressing right up against my sternum - rather painful at times! So I've learnt the hard way about eating smaller meals, and am trying to make snacking times count more than empty kilojoules (not that I'm concerned about weight gain; I was underweight pre-pregnancy). When I lay down, you can see quite the pronounced little lump now that is my uterus!

(it's always a lot bigger when I stand up, obviously!)

26 Weeks

2011-01-09T10:24:00.000+11:00

My ravenous first trimester hunger has come back this week, which leads me to think that the little man is in a weight-gain phase at the moment! Protein, carb, sugar, milk... all being craved simultaneously - it's enough to do any pregnant woman's head in! Still, trying to consume healthier options (ie, homecooked chicken vs fast food, or my own baked goods vs those in shops). I was making a banana loaf during the week and for some reason even bit off a chunk - I don't even like bananas normally!

Comfort-wise, I've developed a few niggly pains recently, mainly in my middle back and hips. There were a couple of days where getting around was rather difficult, but my Mum has been making some helpful suggestions such as putting a pillow under my bump and/or between my legs while sleeping to take the strain off my body (which I think is part of the problem). I think I need to get a bit more active too, now that I'm on holidays from teaching at the moment.

Random tumy-tightening has been steadily increasing too (since about week 24?), my doctor seems to think it might be Braxton Hicks (practice contractions) since they're mainly uncomfortable - not painful - and last for short intervals (~30sec). At times it's enough to have me rubbing my tummy to ease them though.

And we won't mention the kicking that baby's doing on the scars from my laparoscopy a couple of years ago... ouch!

Yes, it's all rather pleasant down in this neck of the woods at the moment. ;)

Though in more positive news, the baby 'nook' (as opposed to a whole room) is beginning to get underway, with boxes under the spare room bed being cleared out in preparation for bed disassembling (!) and wall painting. Very exciting! We've picked out a cot, changetable/drawer unit and small wardrobe, so it's a matter of preparing some parts of the room before we can purchase the furniture. Hopefully it all comes together in the next 4-6 weeks, as I have the urge to be prepared sooner rather than later. :)

And to finish off, a tummy picture taken this week:

26 weeks

Letter to a Little One [24-25wks]

2011-01-04T20:38:00.001+11:00

Dearest Little One,

It has been an eventful two weeks in both of our lives! You have been gaining body fat (weighing around 750g), testing your newly developed nerve endings in your fingers - your eyes may have even opened already after being fused shut for months (but it's okay if you still prefer the dark).

And as for your mother? She's been on the end of your increasingly-powerful kicks - especially to the scars from previous laparoscopic surgery (the sharpness of these sensations make me visibly wince). Your feet are apparently about 5cm (2") long now, and if you're anything like either of your parents they are probably already on the larger side!

You had your second-ever plane trip over Christmas, and when I put one of my earbud headphones on my tummy during the flight you would squirm around... I'm not sure whether that means you like my taste in music or not! In fact, you spend most of the day in active mode - you're definitely like me and like to be busy (we're going to have so much fun once you're here!).

Christmas was lots of fun, you received plenty of attention from your grandparents (Dad's parents) and family, and were even given an early baby shower - you were spoilt with teeny-tiny gifts, soft toys, nappies and even a couple of sippy cups. I ate quite a lot of food, but since you're taking up a lot of space in my body these days, it takes longer to digest it all. Needless to say I spent most of the day with a swollen-looking, firm tummy and a squirmy you struggling to make room! I'm now learnt that I need to pace myself and eat smaller meals (and avoid tomatoes, as they're giving your Mum heartburn).

Your Dad and I took a two-night trip away while in Tasmania for Christmas to Bruny Island - it was gorgeous!

I was excited about receiving a gift for you from some friends at your baby shower.

Everybody who was at the shower decorated a singlet each for you - you'll be the best-dressed boy in town soon!

Your Auntie Marisa (who is your Mum's best friend) celebrated her 30th birthday on New Year's Eve, and it was a good test to see how we both dealt with 40C Summer heat... thankfully it wasn't too bad, but I was quite tired. You very much liked the chocolate birthday cake, and were wriggling around for hours after I ate it (in fact, you seem to love sugary foods - again, taking after me!). Seconds into the new year, your Dad and I looked at each other, amazed that this very year you will be born... and how both of our lives will change!

You're 25 weeks in this picture (taken on NYE).

The chocolate cake that you liked so much.

Braxton Hicks (practice contractions) may have begun, they make my tummy go hard underneath the belly button and it feels a little uncomfortable. Fortunately they only last for 30 seconds or so - there's no reason to be scared, it's just my body practicing getting ready for your birth in April.

Looking forward to seeing you on the ultrasound screen in 2.5 weeks, until then keep squirming and growing and being the best manatee you can be!

Love you. :)

23 Weeks

2010-12-18T10:02:00.001+11:00

I've had a cold this week, and the amount of coughing I've done with the mucous being made has been turning my stomach a bit. Still, my perfect non-puking record this pregnancy is intact (proud of that one! :P). Unfortunately I've passed the same cold onto my husband and he's feeling poorly this morning - we leave to go on holiday to his parents place in Tasmania for Christmas today.

Work is now finished for the year... I'm officially on school holidays! :D

Excited? You bet. Unable to relax, on the back of one of the busiest months I've experience in a while? Definitely. It usually takes me a week or two to unwind at the end of the year, I'm guessing that this year will not be much different. ;)

Our little one was bestowed with more gifts this week (I'm honestly overwhelmed by the generousity of others), in particular:

From an online friend who has a three year-old son. She spoilt us. :)

Okay... so many all of this isn't for the baby, but at least the teddy is! (being a teacher at this time of the year often results in excess, but a nice excess)

One of the families I have taught this year wrote me a beautiful note (you will have to click on the image to see it full-size to read it more clearly)

And lastly, it wouldn't be the end of the year with the annual "jump" picture - even being pregnant it wasn't going to stop me! Behold the disappearing bump:

Which really looks more like this....

(23 weeks & 3 days)

So my classroom is now empty, a new teacher has been employed to take over from me in the beginning of February, and I'm a little petrified. Teaching is what I know and love, and the idea of it being out of my life for at least a year (or more) makes me feel a little unstructured - or out of control, even. Come April, I know that this time will be a distant dream, but for now it's more than a little surreal.

22 Weeks

2010-12-09T12:04:00.001+11:00

The bumping and thumping continues, with baby making his presence known more by the day.

We had an appointment with our obstetrician this morning, where we found out that everything was well with the 20-week scan (as expected, as we were given every indication during the scan that nothing was awry!). Weight gain so far this pregnancy is at 8kg (I'm now carrying an extra 1/7th more weight than pre-pregnancy!), the doctor seems to be pleased with how everything is progressing.

I'll be doing the (non-fasting) glucose test on January 4th - not particularly looking forward to it but such is life! The doctor also said that with his IVF patients he usually schedules a 28-week ultrasound to make sure that everything is continuing to progress nicely. Another ultrasound? Another chance to see the little man's features more developed? I'll definitely be in on that (even if it's for purely selfish reasons :P).

I quite like our obstetrician, he said he needs to have a "reason" (his words) to perform another scan, with IVF in itself not usually being enough on the request form. So he popped down that the baby is potentially measuring small (even though he's not!), and voila... scan is booked for January 20th.

Recent gifts for the little man(atee) that arrived from my MIL and sister in-law. Very cute, and in squee-worthy newborn size!

View from the top at 22 weeks! ;)

21 Weeks

2010-12-06T20:56:00.002+11:00

The last week has brought another milestone - I'm now able to see my belly move from the outside when the little man kicks out at his surroundings. It's very surreal seeing your tummy poked from within, but at the same time very cool too, I can't keep my hands off it!

I bought some cloth nappies second-hand from a friend recently and they arrived this week - very exciting! (we're hoping to use cloth after the first month in or so; if things don't work out and we go back to disposables then that's okay too - nappies are pretty easy to sell on as there's always a demand. However, there's not much that's cuter than a fluffy bum on a baby!)

More on purchases, I finally outgrew my last pair of pre-pregnancy jeans and sourced eBay for some maternity jeans (I'd tried a couple of brands on in a store so I knew which fits and sizes were best for me). I must say I'm impressed with the two pairs that arrived - even though someone else has worn them, they fit me like a glove! What a shame it's been Summery weather this week and too warm to wear them yet (empire line dresses have been my friend!)

My best friend (and honourary Auntie) bought the baby his first alligator toy, also very cute - the gesture of the gift means a lot to me too. :)

Marisa and her thoughtful gift; our house is now decorated for Christmas too!

It's nearly the end of the Kindergarten year and while things are crazily busy right now, I know that within two weeks hubby and I will be escaping the pressures from work and heading away to Tasmania until nearly the New Year...can't wait for that. My replacement at work has also been hired recently, and rather than starting maternity leave from March 1st, it'll most likely be after February 15th - yippee! (although what I'll do with myself for potentially 8 weeks I do not know; I'm sure life will dictate otherwise)

Speaking of work, management bought me this gorgeous bouquet of lillies and presented them to me at the Christmas party on Friday night. Made me feel so special. :)

A Milestone

2010-11-29T16:17:00.000+11:00

*smiles*

Hubby felt the baby kicking from the outside for the first time last night (at 20w5d).

I've been feeling him from the outside for the last two weeks, but it hasn't been strong enough for hubby to pick up on. Sure enough last night he felt three swift kicks and his eyes lit up.

"Is that the baby?" he asked.

Yes Matt, yes it was. :)

Ultrasound Says...

2010-11-27T23:22:00.001+11:00

....

We will soon be buying more clothes that look like this:

Yes, baby is very much a little BOY!

(measuring right on schedule, everything is exactly where it should be)

So how does it feel to know that this baby is in fact a little man? Surprising, and yet wonderful at the same time! I have been feeling definite girl vibes for most of this pregnancy and went as far as to call myself 75% certain. There you go... that goes to show that the universe likes to save the best surprises for the most important of times.

Laying there on the bed while the ultrasound technician (the same woman who did our 13-week scan) waved her wand on me, manatee squirmed and wriggled, barely giving us all two minutes before he decided to change position and show us his goods. Previously, legs were crossed and I joked to hubby that it would figure, we wouldn’t get to find out the gender today and the technician said “oh, I already know what it is, do you want to know?”. Umm, yes please! She repositioned the wand and zoomed on in, and asked hubby and I what we thought we were looking at. Not three lines, but a something.

“Is that a boy?”, I kind-of-squeaked (wondering if she’d laugh at me if I was wrong).

“Yes, it’s very much a boy”, she responds.

Hubby and I squeeze hands, grin and while she takes pictures and continues the scan the tears stream down the outsides of my eyes. Happy tears, and the realisation that we were going to be parents to a manatee boy.

Yes, it figures that we had all but agreed on a girl’s name and hadn’t yet settled on a name for a boy (we decided not to push it anymore and come the 20-week scan, we might not need to have that conversation anymore!).

After the technician confirmed our realisations, hubby laughed and replied “that’d figure!”.

So now starts the journey of suitable names for little boys, names that will carry on through to adulthood painlessly. The list of ‘I hate it’s is lengthening, but the list of ‘I don’t hate it, but...’ is growing. Perhaps we’ll see eye to eye soon, or maybe when our little boy is born we’ll know the perfect name? Either way we won’t be sharing any names online before the birth!

Post-ultrasound, we emerged with an envelope of highly-prized pictures, DVD and big grins on our faces. It was a relief to also discover that the baby’s head isn’t overly huge (even though he currently weighs in at 380g or 13oz, which sets us on track for an 8lb+ birth at full-term), which was the case with my brother who required a forceps delivery during his birth. Dissimilarly, I practically slid out at a tiny 6lb 13oz (at 38 weeks; whereas hubby was born at 42 weeks and weighed over 9lb, if I remember correctly).

He. I have to get used to saying that. I’ve been so used to saying ‘it’ that there’s that adjustment period.

Now the fun of buying little jeans, overalls, t-shirts, rompers and shirts begins. And we couldn’t be happier. :)

20 Week Belly

2010-11-24T21:07:00.000+11:00

In less than 24 hours we'll hopefully find out if we have a son or a daughter growing in my tummy. :)

19 Weeks x 2

2010-11-21T09:05:00.002+11:00

My mind is a-swirl with things to come in the months ahead - planning this baby's room, putting away old furniture, building up our cloth nappy (diaper) stash. Hubby and I went to Mothercare yesterday and left without actually buying anything (!!). Actually, what was supposed to be a quick look at cots (which we'll be purchasing and setting up after Christmas) turned into ooh-ing and ahh-ing over soft blankets and co-ordinating nursery bedding, analysing prams and carseats, and envisioning the little one in little jeans, t-shirts or dresses. It was the first time either of us had looked at things specifically for baby together, so that was a milestone within itself.

We've decided to forgo the traditional pink or blue-toned rooms and are looking at light wood and shades of yellow, green and white (even though we hope to know whether the baby is a boy or a girl). We found the perfect nursery set which brings together all of these colours, and has cute baby insects with happy smiling faces. This will be perfect (in fact I had to restrain myself not to buy it right there and then - I know we have many eager family and friends who are itching to buy us gifts for baby; it'll be nice to be able to point them in a certain direction now!).

(this is what the quilt looks like...isn't it cute?)

After a few goes, both hubby and I have been improving with using the doppler. Baby's heartbeat tends to measure between 135-145bpm (which the old wives tales say could point to a boy ;P), nice and strong. This has definitely put my mind at ease after the fall I had a couple of weeks ago (my knees with their new pink skin still tell the tale!).

Two days until I'm 20 weeks (!!) and 4 days until the big ultrasound. It's set to be an exciting week. :)

Bump at 19 weeks.

19 Weeks

2010-11-16T14:50:00.000+11:00

I am 19 weeks pregnnat today, one week shy of being (give or take) midway through this journey with the soon-to-be-not-so-little little one.

A gorgeous package of cute baby things arrived from my husband's family (and a couple of their friends) yesterday - including slippers, a soft yellow rabbit toy, singlets, jumpsuits and hats. What a surprise! There's just something about the extreme softness of all things baby *goes gooey*.

(the blanket is especially cute!)

Even though I'll only be 25 weeks-ish at Christmas, the in-laws are throwing us a baby shower when we're over in Tasmania in December (baby showers aren't a big deal here in Australia, but it's a tradition within their family according to my husband - so when in Rome....!). Sister-in-law is apparently planning some cheesy games, I said that as long as it involves food I don't mind what happens! Famous last words perhaps? ;)

We've been giving some thought to the future room of this baby. In our two-bedroom apartment, the second bedroom already houses a bed, three bookshelf units, a corner computer desk and linen cupboard. There isn't an in-built wardrobe (since it's not a large room to begin with), so storage has always been a bit of an issue. Since there isn't another space in the apartment for the desk and shelves, they'll remain in the room, we'll just co-ordinate the cot (crib) and change-table (which we already have; it's our old entertainment/TV unit) in a similar colour to tie it all together. This will be the 'baby nook', which will start its transformation after Christmas... which is surprisingly not too far away now!

(excuse the things on the bed, it's some of the last things to be put away or Freecycled from our move almost a year ago. The styrofoam [from stereo speaker packaging] is being picked up tonight for its new home. We will have more space then!)

I saw my Naturopath this morning, the lovely woman who has helped me from my initial diagnosis of infertility back in 2008 through to the IVF and finally pregnancy. She even had some wonderful pregnancy news of her own to share (!!). I find visiting her a very holistic experience and always leave feeling relaxed, empowered and happy - today was no exception. I'll next see her again after the new year, and am plied up with vitamins and minerals to last me until then. I can't recommend my naturopath (who are also known as herbalists in some countries) highly enough. :)

In other exciting news, I picked up my doppler from the post office this afternoon! Great timing, as it will be good for my reassurance when this baby is going through stiller periods (even though I feel movement most days, usually somewhere between 7-11pm).

.... now to just pick up some AAA batteries and try this out!

Letter to a Little One [18 Weeks]

2010-11-11T18:22:00.002+11:00

"Everything grows rounder and wider and weirder, and I sit here in the middle of it all and wonder who in the world you will turn out to be“ (Carrie Fisher)

Who are you, the little one who kicks me softly in the early evenings and as I lay down and sleep each night? I've only known you for eighteen weeks but already you have changed my life and the lives of those around you immeasureably.

In fifteen days we will know whether you are a little boy or a little girl, and the rest of the surprises will be kept for after you join us in the outside world in April.

(Bump at 18 weeks)

We went out on the weekend to a fancy restaurant and discovered that I could still fit into a fairly small pre-pregnancy dress (I was thrilled, in fact!). It's not often that either hubby and I have the opportunty to dress up, so we took full advantage of it. :)

The way I was standing made it look as though I was carrying my bump really high (which isn't the case at all!)

17 Weeks

2010-11-04T11:30:00.000+11:00

Thwack, thwack, thwack.

When I'm lying down in bed most nights, this is what I feel in the half-hour or so before drifting off to sleep. Always below the belly button, sometimes off to one side, sometimes to the centre (and down pretty low). I definitely know it's the baby I'm feeling now.

It's difficult to describe the movements - they're very light, almost like a muscular twitch but not. It makes me smile and forget whatever it is I'm doing (ie, if I'm having a conversation with someone while sitting on the couch).

Also had a 'gender' dream two nights ago, where I found out that this little one is a girl. I don't know if there's any significance to this, or whether my subconscious is just playing games with me (only 22 days until we potentially find out). Interestingly I haven't had any actualy baby dreams yet - as in holding this baby, or who it is outside of the womb. I'm going to trust my intuition and hope that these dreams come later in the pregnancy.

For the time being, I'm bidding on a cheap fetal doppler on eBay to put my mind at ease - I think for $30 both hubby and I will definitely get our money's worth with the reassurance it brings. :)

16 Weeks

2010-10-30T11:47:00.000+11:00

This week marks an important milestone - no, not just that I'm officially four month pregnant, but that I felt the baby move for the first time on Tuesday (the 26th).

We were at an appointment with the obstetrician and I laid down on the bed while he put the doppler on my tummy. As he started up the doppler (before we could hear any sound) there was a small thwack off to my left side, between belly button and pelvic bone. If I didn't know any better, I'd say the baby was startled!

I kept my thoughts to myself in case hubby or the doctor laughhed at me and said "oh no, that's way too early for movement with a first baby". But sure enough, I've felt the same muscle-twitching type movement another two times since then.

The little one is trying to make itself known to me, and I am ever so excited. I'm filled with love, gushiness and maternal pride *insert gooey smile here*. :)

Another big week for growth, and am getting more comments from families in the workplace. The old wives tales have begun, and people are adamant that it's "definitely" one gender over another. Of course, everyone has a 50/50 chance of being right... including hubby and myself. Hubby is currently thinking Team Pink, whereas I'm undecided (although looking whistfully at little buttoned shirts and cargo shorts). Only 27 days until we get the opportunity to try and find out! ;)

16 weeks & 3 days.

Infertility in a Fertile World

2010-10-24T15:23:00.001+11:00

I've had a few moments of serious thinking lately, which has been triggered by a few people saying "You're not infertile anymore, you're pregnant!".

I have a bit of a problem with this for a few reasons - if anything I feel more guilty because I have an obvious phyiscal marker of fertility in front of me every day now. People notice my growing bump (which has been on the move quite a bit this week), so it's easy to pretend on the outside that I'm fertile like a lot of the female population.

The trouble is that I'm not. IVF and the wonder of science has helped my husband and I achieve this dream of childbearing, and without it we would still probably be trying and experiencing BFN after BFN, slowly losing hope. Where do I sit now? With the women who pregnancy has come naturally to, or with the women who still yearn for a child and my bump is a reminder of what sets us apart?

It can be difficult being an infertile woman in a fertile world, and the thought of going through IVF again in the years to come terrifies me as I now know what we're in for. I'm not the praying type, but I hope that my fallopian scarring somehow reverses with this pregnancy.

15 Weeks

2010-10-21T13:59:00.000+11:00

I'm in the eager stage of pregnancy right now.

Eager to feel those little flutters for reassurance that everything's going okay.
Eager for further belly growth, despite knowing it'll be around the corner.
Eager to know whether this little one is a boy or a girl.
Eager for baby room decorating, despite a lack of space to do so!

I guess that's one of the down sides to popping out early (for me, it was from about 10 weeks), you think that everything is going to happen just as instantly... but it doesn't. It's all slow and steady - and at times non-existant! I've had a couple of random tummy rubs recently, which has been surprising to say the least (I'm not a hugely touch-and-feely person), so there must be some physical changes going on. ;)

Innie belly button is becoming shallower.

14 Weeks

2010-10-14T08:59:00.000+11:00

Hubby and I went away to the Grampians (a mountain range in inner Victoria) for a wedding I was shooting last weekend. It was an amazing experience (with views for miles and miles!) but unfortunately the morning sickness I thought I'd avoided reared its ugly head on the morning of the wedding...oh dear.

Thankfully I didn't empty the contents of my stomach, though I had to excuse mysef out of rooms multiple times during the day (including while shooting the bride getting the end of her make-up done). Talk about an experience!

Here I am before the ceremony (photo courtesy of the hubby) -

Photo at 13 weeks & 4 days

I made my pregnancy official to management at work last week, which was a relief (as it turns out many people were guessing anyway, given the fact I'm starting to show and was quite thin pre-pregnancy!). Many of the parents and families I work with at the preschool are very happy for the news too... even if it means I won't be teaching their children next year!

Got a shocking cold at the moment, which is the first I've had since I hit 6 weeks (when I had 3 colds in quick succession... hello compromised immune system!) and am thinking of taking tomorrow off as a sick day - I barely ever take time off. I think I owe it to myself. :)

Letter to a Little One [13wks]

2010-10-05T22:52:00.000+11:00

Hello baby, we saw you today and heard your heart beating at 160bpm. You're measuring 6.75cm from head to rump right now, and that doesn't include your legs (the ultrasound tech said you'd be closer to 10cm realistically!).

Everything looks good - your brain, heart, kidneys, body, cord, feet and hands. Unlike last week's scan you decided to surprise us by being still (and more than just a little bit stubborn... I think you take after me already!). As soon as the tech flipped into 4D mode you put your hand up in front of your face as if to say no more!! We'll get you used to the camera yet, there's plenty of time. ;)

The next time we see you will be on November 25th, when I'll be 20 weeks. Hopefully you co-operate and let us discover who you are!

Love you.
xxxxxxxx

12 Weeks (!!)

2010-09-29T20:27:00.000+10:00

Today I had my first appointment with the obstetrician and he surprised us with a quick ultrasound....cue much excitement (and nervousness!) on my part!
We got to see our baby on the screen.... not a blob, but a fully-formed (but tiny) baby! Sure, this picture doesn't quite do the experience justice, but it was amazing to see it moving around on the screen. In fact, the obstetrician commented on how active he/she was, and that may be a sign of things to come.... oh my! :O

Measuring three days ahead too - it must have our tall genes... I've never been so proud. :)

(Not the clearest angle, but here's our little one's second picture! (head to the left, legs to the right)
We have our 'proper' scan next week, so I'll be sure to update then.

And my twelve week tummy picture. Nearly out of the first trimester!!

P.S. - Hubby and I made the pregnancy public on Facebook tonight, now it's officially out there. :)

11.5 Weeks

2010-09-26T00:40:00.000+10:00

I'm on school holidays from teaching at the moment (bliss!) so there's been a bit of relaxing as well as catching up with friends and family. I've been thoroughly enjoying my time off - still another week to go - and then it will be (hopefully) my last Term of classroom teaching before office duties for Feb/March next year before starting maternity leave. Can't get too ahead of myself though, I'll be meeting with management at some point in October or November to discuss exactly what the beginning of next year will bring (I'm due at a tricky time, with not being eligible for maternity leave until 4 weeks into the school year).

Lots of changes this week, including:
- A couple of bouts of (mild) random quasiness
- Light-headedness if I don't eat every two hours
- A total of 3kg gained so far this pregnancy
- The potential beginnings of colostrum (!)

Our first appointment with our obstetrician is on Wednesday, with our next ultrasound the following week (October 5th). So hopefully exciting times ahead!

P.S. - I think it's nearly time to (sadly) put away my favourite jeans:

10 Weeks

2010-09-14T13:42:00.000+10:00

Well, here I am (roughly) 25% of the way through this pregnancy already. In one way it's been a very fast time, but in other ways it's been a slow crawl - ie, the IVF cycle that seemed to last six weeks, all the blood tests, waiting for an ultrasound, everything else that comes along with the first trimester etc.

And suddenly, wham... there's the beginning of a (tiny) tummy. It's hard to believe that these two pictures were taken only two weeks apart, or that I'm 5'11" to begin with and have quite a long waist. Genetics should tell me that I can't possibly be showing yet, but sure enough there are genuine changes here.

Image as proof (I debated about leaving my head in or cutting it out, then thought "bugger it") -

Hard to me to deny this, hey?

It's almost the term break at work, so with another three weeks under my belt I wonder if any further changes will be obvious by the time we come back in the beginning of October? It will be t-shirt weather very soon in Melbourne, so creative dressing may be appropriate until it's time to announce things formally.

Either way, these changes would probably explain why I've been feeling lots of pulls and tiny cramps (not in a bad way) lately.

9.5 Week Belly

2010-09-12T21:57:00.000+10:00

This is what I'm seeing by the evenings lately, I've had lots of 'pulling' pains/twinges and the urge to wee has been stronger again in the last few days. My favourite pair of jeans are holding on for dear life!

Hubby and I had our first discussion about names the other night, he brought up a list I'd mentioned about names I'd liked during the years and then crossed off along the way. It turns out that there are at least a couple of girls names we agree partway on, but so far nothing for boys. Hopefully for our sake this little one turns out to be a girl (if my instinct is correct, then it will be the case!).

9 Weeks

2010-09-07T11:00:00.000+10:00

I'm nine weeks today, with only one month to go until I'm out of the first trimester!

After getting over the initial shock of discovering that we were pregnant at the beginning of August, the last five weeks have been an interesting time: the never-ending appetite (including massive cravings for cheese that have only been getting stronger!), countless toilet trips, the tiredness and more. Morning sickness has been kind to me so far, with only a few queasy moments to date (my Mum jokes that I'll be in for it later down the track).

We have our first appointment with a hands-off obstetrician (who comes highly recommended) on September 29th, and our twelve-week scan on October 5th. Hubby wants to come to both, which I think is really quite sweet (though little does he know yet that I'll be having to take a urine sample to the OB appointment!).

The little bloaty bump that I posted last week has hung around, which leads me to believe that it's the beginning of something real. Skinny jeans have been put to the back of the wardrobe in favour of fitted pants with a little more stretch to them - hopefully these get me by for another 1-2 months, or until it's warm enough here for skirts/shorts again! (secretly I'm glad to be having a Summer baby because my wardrobe is more suited for it, with me probably only having to buy a few pieces here and there).

Anyway, enough of vanity, that's this week's update. ;)

8 Weeks

2010-09-02T12:06:00.000+10:00

The last week has been a whirlwind affair, starting off with the all-important first ultrasound which made me cry when I got to see this on the screen:

Pregnancy at 7 weeks & 0 days

With a heartbeat of 133bpm, it was truly a beautiful sight to behold (even if it's difficult to make anything out yet). This little one was measuring ahead, which the technician said could either be because of our genes (I'm 6'0" and hubby is 6'2" - or in metric terms, 181cm and 186cm!) or that the blastocyst implanted early. Either way, I feel proud already. :)

We have officially 'graduated' from the IVF clinic and are currently in the process of being referred to more local care at a nearby private hospital. Our last HCG blood test results were really good, with the numbers being in the 105,000's! :O

Both families now know about the pregnancy and everyone seems thrilled for us! I'm ecstatic we've been able to share the good news with them all (even if we're not making it completely public until after our 12wk ultrasound).

I've been sleeping a lot more lately (tending to nap at about 3pm when I get the chance) and morning sickness is still fairly non-existant (I've only had a couple of days where I've woken up a little queasy).

And I think that's my update?

Oh wait, I forgot to show you what's appeared during the last week, a little teeny-tiny (probably all bloat) protrusion:

Ultrasound is Tomorrow

2010-08-23T21:46:00.001+10:00

Tomorrow marks the land of no return... the first ultrasound. Will there be a sac? Will there be a manatee-shaped human-to-be inside? Will there be a heartbeat?

I'm on edge because I'm still in that limbo between being treated for infertility and so-called 'normal' pregnancy. I'm seeing a reproductive endocrinologist (tomorrow will mark the second-last visit before graduating to more local care) and will be joined in the waiting room tomorrow by a variety of women - some of whom might be in a similar situation to me, or midway through an IVF cycle - or their assisted reproduction journey may be just beginning.

In plainer English, I'm a little scared, more than a little cautious and hope that above anything tomorrow brings good news.

...and for the time being I place my hands carefully over my lower abdomen as if to protect the life that I think is going on within right now. Pregnant until proven otherwise.

6 Weeks Today

2010-08-17T10:26:00.001+10:00

I've been keeping a lower online presence everywhere lately, I'm not sure why though I think dwindling energy levels might have something to do with it.

Today marks being six weeks pregnant, which to me is my first mini-milestone. I'm so proud of my body for doing what it should be, now that I'm off all drugs/medications related to the IVF (just on natural-based supplements, prescribed by my naturopath). Last week I had more blood work done that proved my HCG levels are rising (9014 vs 793 a week ago!). Progesterone was down a little, but still within normal range - the nurse that's probably because I'm off progesterone supplements now. I have one more blood test next week and then I get the all-clear for a while. :)

In other exciting-to-me news, hubby and I will be getting a super early sneak peek at how this little one is doing next Tuesday (which I hope brings news of a strongly-beating heart and everything measuring on schedule). Our first ultrasound! I've had many during the couse of the last few years, but only of an empty uterus.... this is completely different and I'll be ecstatic for good news *keeps fingers tightly crossed*.

Also this week we need to decide on what kind of birthing care I'll be having, as our IVF specialist will be writing a referral shortly. Then we'll be officially be done with the clinic and continuing pregnancy care locally. It all feels too early to be planning these things - after all, I've only just found out that I'm pregnant! Originally I was interested in midwife-led care, but now I'm considering other options too. I've been recommended a couple of hands-off obstetricians which sound like a good fit for me, and I know that at least one of them accepts IVF women *thumbs up*.

So now we wait a little bit, and hope that next Tuesday brings good news (yes, it's all about the waiting, waiting, waiting!).

P.S. - My stomach turned yesterday at the smell of disintegrating rubber gloves. Hoping this isn't a sign of things to come!

5 Weeks Today

2010-08-10T10:05:00.000+10:00

It feels as though I've known about being pregnant for ages, but in reality it's only been a week and-a-half. The trouble with knowing so early is that there is longer to wait to make real progress.

But then again, every week is progress, and closer to the goals of staying pregnant and birthing a baby (which sounds strange to say because my goal for the last couple of years has been to actually get pregnant!).

I've had a cold this week, which has been knocking me around, and my appetite continues to be big (metabolism, I suppose??). No sign of sickly feelings as yet, so I'll be keeping my fingers crossed that this continues.

Two days until the blood test which hopefully confirms that my HCG levels are rising properly, and 15 days until our dating ultrasound. This is the big one for me... it'll all feel more real then. Hubby is excited, I'm so rapt to see him feeling happy about what's happening (did I doubt otherwise, I'm not sure?!).

HCG Levels

2010-08-05T16:31:00.000+10:00

What a wonderful day.... my pregnancy has been confirmed by blood test!!

I was right on the money (4w 2d) with my dates, with my levels being -

HCG: 793
Progesterone: 391

The nurse said that those levels are looking really good! Now to have another blood test next week, and my first ultrasound is scheduled for August 24th (6w 6d). Great timing, as two days after that hubby and I will be flying to visit the in-laws to tell them the good news! :D

P.S. - I told my best friend about our news over lunch today, predictably she cried! I know she's going to be the best non-related auntie ever! ;)

On Why I Love Carrots

2010-08-04T22:52:00.001+10:00

Symptoms to date: Lots of weeing. Tiredness. Big appetite. Thirst. Carrots are yummy.

It's funny, I've only known I'm pregnant for five days but I feel so attached to the mass of cells that are growing inside of me, and hope that they make it to this side of the world. I know it's wrong to feel like this already, but this is something the hubby and I have wanted for so long -- and strived for. We like to succeed in all facets of life and fertility is no exception. Now I'm growing a baby and trying to do the best that I can. :)

There are 11 hours to go until my blood test, and I'll find out the results 5-6 hours after that. Very nervous despite knowing in my heart that we'll have a good result (hopefully enough to go off the progesterne, but won't be devestated if I have to stay on it... I'm thankful we've gotten this far).

I've told a few close online friends and decided to be an active part of a forum I've been a part of for a couple of years (after the initial endometriosis diagnosis). There are other women who are in the very early stages of pregnancy like me, and it feels good to share in this experience with other people. And to validate my thoughts... that it's okay to feel attached. :)

Tomorrow I'm lunching with my best friend and I plan on giving her the good news in person. I know she'll be rapt (she can't wait until the day when she and her partner have a baby of their own), and will probably wonder why I'm spilling the beans so early. I questioned a good friend who said the same thing once and she said that if anything were to 'go wrong' she'd rather the love and support of others around her, rather than trying to cope alone.

I tend to agree with her, so this is why my best friend and I will be jumping around in excitement together this time tomorrow. ;)

No Doubting This Response...

2010-08-03T10:02:00.000+10:00

Who would have thought it? After yesterday's very faint positive on an internet cheapie strip, I bought myself a First Response test and.... well, there's no doubting that result. I'm pregnant!

Before I get ahead of myself there is Thursday's blood test to get through, and early ultrasound after that. But wow, I never thought I'd get this far so fast - I feel so bleesed!

Hubby and I are trying not to think ahead, but we can't help but talk about when we'll tell both sets of parents (probably at the 7 week mark, since his parents live interstate and we'll be seeing them in person for the first time this year in a month's time). Interestingly, that means also keeping "the secret" from my own mother until then, someone that I'm very close to. My guess is that she'll figure it out, but we'll just have to see. As I said, a month is a long time away and we don't even know yet whether this little one is meant for the world (I think ~~she~~ it is).

P.S. - The urge to pee very frequently on Saturday night made me realise that maybe my period wasn't on the way after all. That and a general feeling of 'oddness'. Since then, the peeing han't stopped (I've been waking up at least twice a night needing to use the toilet) and this morning I haven't felt all that hungry but have eaten my bran cereal anyway. Isn't it too early for all of this?

I worked out my dates, and I'm only a tad over 4 weeks...

Two Lines

2010-08-01T10:11:00.000+10:00

If July was the month of upheaval, then I think I am really going to like August.

Last night the cramping continued and I found myself keeping on going to the toilet to check whether I'd started my period yet (11dpo7dpt). The cramps were identical to period pains, increasing in intensity and I was trying to steel myself that this was it.

A couple of hours later, while sitting on the couch with hubby, a calm descended over me... an oddness that told me it was time to test, that something was stopping this period from coming.

Fast forward to this morning and..... TWO LINES!!!

Sure, the second line was faint but still visibly there without squinting. Holy moly, I think I'm pregnant. Four days until the blood test to find out for sure... cautious optimism shead!

Embryos on Ice!

2010-07-30T17:41:00.000+10:00

It's like Disney on Ice, only without the cartoon characters coming to life.

*thumbs up to good news* 4 out of our 6 remaining embryos made it to freezing, which means if this cycle is unsuccessful we've got a couple of frozen cycles up our sleeves! :D

Do I feel any different at the moment? Not really, I was telling a work colleague this morning that besides a bit of cramping on and off yesterday and today, I feel like life is really back to normal. But now that I feel 'back to normal', I'm second-guessing myself?

Wait... is normal a good thing or a not-so-good thing?
Sore breasts: tender = progesterone or HCG?

Can we please fast-forward to seven sleeps from now so I can find out??

Hello Little One?

2010-07-29T10:30:00.000+10:00

It's good to have rejoined the world again. Sure, I was thrown into the deep end back at work yesterday, and the kids were off.the.wall - but it was satisfying. :)

I wonder if there's anything going on within my body right now, I'd love to know whether this little embryo has implanted (or even if it's going to), with progesterone masking any possible changes - tender, swollen breasts etc. The hubby mentioned yesterday that I'm being awfully calm and patient about this whole waiting time, I told him that the closer it gets to next Thursday (blood work day) the more antsy I'll probably get.

A woman who has been cycling with me (IUI) took a home test yesterday and had a negative result, despite being adamant that her symptoms were pregnancy related. I'd told her that it was too soon to test, but she wanted to do it anyway. And now she's disappointed and waiting until her bloodwork. I don't want to say I told you so, but.... well. ;)

Time to go and knead some bread dough, then onto some paperwork for a meeting tonight.

Pea in the Honey Pot

2010-07-28T09:25:00.001+10:00

I go back to work today (in about an hour) after sitting through a meeting last night and another one is scheduled for tomorrow night (different tiers of management). Although I’m a little anxious about using my body (or stretching/lifting too much), it’s time to rejoin the world again. Live some kind of normality for the next week-and-a-bit before my blood test.

Speaking of which, that’s now scheduled for Thursday (August 5th) at 9.30am, with results available in the afternoon. Many people have asked me if I’ll be taking a home pregnancy test... the answer is no. If I get a positive after all of this, I want to find out over the phone and then see lines for myself on a test. If it’s negative, I don’t think I could bear to see another BFN. So that means waiting the full amount of time.

I was told by the embryologist and my IVF nurse that implantation usually takes place 3-4 days after the embryo transfer... which means if it’s going to happen it may have already, or will be sometime day (nervewracking!). Besides the occasional twinge on either side (internal healing from egg collection last week) I feel normal. Although if you ask the hubby, he’d probably tell you otherwise... skin has broken out in a mass of teenage-like pimples, my emotions have been awry and despite my best fibre-inhaling efforts the progesterone is determined to clog up my insides (sorry!).

It’s funny, for the first couple of days after the transfer, I was worried that using the toilet would mean the embryo would fall out... I didn’t call my nurse about it but I did consult Dr Google.Apparently your embryo will not fall into the toilet bowl (imagine a pea in a pot of honey, it takes an awful amount of force to knock it about!).

Since this entry’s turning into a marvellous blog of toileting habits, I think I can consider this update done *nods*.

Transfer Day

2010-07-25T12:04:00.000+10:00

One of our embryos stopped dividing after Day 2, but the rest (seven!) have plowed on.

Embryo transfer is done. One very healthy-looking embryo (an expanded blastocyst at 5 days!!) was inserted into my uterus via a catheter through the cervix (not as painful as it sounds) this morning.

See that white speck in the middle of the screen? That's our embryo.

Even though we were the first transfer scheduled for this morning (there were four other couples waiting, including the woman who was sitting across from me in recovery on Tuesday), the nurse on duty hadn’t shown up which meant the embryologist couldn’t get started until an hour later. As luck would have it, our IVF nurse was called in to work instead and got to hold the ultrasound wand on my tummy during the procedure (so the embryologist could get a clearer picture). And getting the transfer done by Prof. Gab Kovacs (an IVF pioneer in Australia and internationally) ... icing on the cake.

You couldn’t wipe the smile off my face when we got to see a print-out picture of our embryo (sadly, not to take home!) and it looked perfectly round and healthy... so excited. And the best news? All of the remaining seven embryos had made it to blastocyst stage.

Err... what? o_O

Apparently that’s not all that common, you literally had to pick my jaw up off the floor after that one. We’ll find out more in the next day or so about their grade, as they’re allowing them to continue developing a little more before picking the best candidates for freezing. But seriously... seven healthy blastocysts out of eight fertilised eggs? That’s brilliant news! :D

Fertilisation Results

2010-07-21T11:32:00.001+10:00

*deep breath* Results are in.... are you ready??

Out of the 14 eggs that were collected yesterday -
14 were mature
14 were suitable for fertilisation and mixed with Matt's sperm
8 fertilised and are dividing
2 more are fertilised but are being sluggish (I blame hubby's laidback genes :P)
Transfer day is Sunday
11 days after transfer I'll find out if I'm pregnant.

This result is even better than I'd secretly been hoping for.
Maybe, just maybe, we have hope.

The Harvest

2010-07-20T18:52:00.004+10:00

Egg collection was this morning, and all things considered I don't feel too bad. A little bit groggy due to after-effects of the anaesthetic (they needed to give me some Zofran and even that struggled to hold me at bay for a while...whoops!) and tender down below, but only a little spotting.

My specialist wasn't there today to do my procedure (!!) but instead i had a lovely lady named Dr. Hope (yep...seriously!) who reminded me a little of my naturopath and had been on the news talking about IVF recently. She seemed really nice!

A little off-putting was getting to speak to the embryologist and walking into the operating theatre and being greeted by the team of four before getting to lie on the table and the mask coming down over my face. The room swam a little and then I woke up in recovery about half an hour later.

.... There was some great news there (I wondered if I dreamt it first), a smiling face told me that they collected 14 eggs!!

I'm so thrilled by that number, only four days ago they told me there were six follicles and now there were many more eggs. I'm not doing a huge happy-dance as yet because I don't know how many are mature, how many will fertilise etc. I'll find out tomorrow, and then they'll advise whether we'll have a 3 or 5-day embryo transfer. In the meantime, I'm going to rest up and relax and feel satisfied for my body coming through for me.

Egg Collection Day

2010-07-19T22:37:00.001+10:00

I haven't been writing in this blog as much as I should have been over the last couple of weeks... I've been keeping some things to myself while other aspects of life I've been sharing with other friends.

Injecting myself has become easier over time, in fact I nearly escaped unscathed (no bruising) up until two nights ago, when a slightly wrong angle resulted in the tiniest of tiny bruises. Then came the HCG injection, to trigger my body to mature and release the follicles - that happened last night. Sure it was a syringe (as opposed to the Puregon pen) but I survived it. ;)

Want to see an amusing side-effect of the HCG injection?

Yep.... it makes you test positive. ;)

I've been feeling slightly uncomfortable over the last few days, mainly a bit of bloating, sore breasts, mild cramps and tiredness... all just uncomfortable, not too annoying (after hearing other people's stories I was expecting a horrible time). I know it'll all pass soon.

Which leads me to tomorrow.... egg collection day! At my scan last Friday they counted six follicles (I was hoping for more, but my nurse and specialist agree that this is a good number for someone my age, as egg quality tends to be good in your 20s). Who knows what tomorrow will bring, all I know is that it's time for bed and in 12 hours time I'll be under anaesthetic. wish me luck!

Life

2010-07-11T21:22:00.000+10:00

Day 4 of FSH injections.

Yesterday passed in waves of emotion, I just couldn't keep it in. I think that it was a bit of cabin fever (being at home for two weeks) coupled with a lack of sunshine, and a healthy dose of artificial hormones. Thank goodness I woke up this morning to a cloudless blue Winter sky, a hot cup of rooibus tea and a farmer's market full of organic yummies. It made a world of difference to my mood, and I feel almost ready to tackle being back at work tomorrow morning.

... I did say almost. There's a little more work to be done tonight before bed (it's 9.20pm) because let's face it, I have a healthy dose of let's-leave-it-all-to-the-last-minute going on. It wouldn't be life otherwise. ;)

Grow Follicles, Grow!

2010-07-08T21:23:00.000+10:00

It took me half an hour of holding the instructions and shaking like a leaf, all the while my husband sat next to me giving moral support, before I was able to give myself the first FSH injection.

And you know what? It didn't even hurt.

I'd psyched myself out that this was going to feel exactly like the Zoladex injections (they were very thick needles; the doctor did those) mainly because they were going in the same spot. But I did it.... I DID IT! I've officially started this IVF cycle and there's definitely no going back now.

Grow, little follicles, grow! (but don't overstimulate)

Blood Test Results

2010-07-07T14:54:00.000+10:00

Well, the results are in and apparently my oestrogen levels are "within normal range" (I didn't think to ask what they were at the time).

I get to start FSH injections tomorrow.

And because I can, here's my attempt to get both my face and blood-prodded elbow into a single frame. I'm cool like that, you see. ;)

Blood Test

2010-07-07T11:01:00.000+10:00

I had a blood test this morning to get my oestrogen levels checked and I'll find out the result in a few hours. Keeping my fingers crossed for this one because it'll mean I can start FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) injections tomorrow. If my levels haven't fallen low enough then it'll mean continuing with just the Synarel for a bit longer before getting rechecked.

My body has been getting used to Synarel, I'd been feeling very tired (a bit 'foggy') and was prone to emotional outbursts for a few days there, but now I'm just getting irritated nasal passages (ie, sneezing more often) for the first couple of hours after sniffing. I'll be on it for at least another 14 days, so it's good to know that it hasn't been as bad as I'd heard.

I'm going out to dinner with the girls tonight, which I'm looking forward to. They've been curious about the whole idea of IVF too, and I've been upfront and honest with them about it (rather than keep it a secret; if we share in it together the support network is bigger).

Synarel

2010-07-01T20:13:00.000+10:00

Four days into Synarel and I feel a decided lack of... well, not much. Some ladies on the boards I frequent have complained about headaches or dizziness on this drug, but I haven't experienced very much of that at all. If anything I've been a little tired, but that could be due to the cold my husband brought home with him at the beginning of the week.

I take my last birth control pill tomorrow night, so it will be interesting to see whether I get a period or not (according to my nurse, I may get a full one, just spotting or skip bleeding completely as my oestrogen levels are lowering as a result of the Synarel).

I've had twinges in my pelvic area the last couple of days and was feeling a little bit down emotionally last night, so who knows? I've turned my body over to the capable hands of Monash IVF for the next couple of months, so whatever happens... well, happens.

... and in the meantime, I sip the glass of white wine that I've been told I'm allowed to have occasionally. All about the sanity, you see. ;)

Sniff Sniff

2010-06-28T10:26:00.000+10:00

I officially started on the Synarel nasal spray today, in preparation for starting injections on July 8th.

There was a tingling sensation in my nostril afterwards, and a bitter kind of taste in my throat about ten minutes later. I guess that means the medication has entered my body?

I don't why I've been so anxious about starting this part of the treatment, I handled Zoladex fine for six months back in 2008 and that was full menopause. It's just nasal sprays... I've never been a fan...

Emotions

2010-06-26T16:38:00.000+10:00

I promised myself that I'd try to keep my emotions in check, in light of everything that's happening (and what will be happening), yet I found myself snapping at the hubby today.

Not over anything earth-shattering, but an accumulation of inside-out washing and frustration that I just mopped the bathroom floor and still couldn't keep it clean.

Ugh, I shut myself in our bedroom for a while until I calmed down. We shouted a little at each other and I'm making a concerted effort to calm down. I haven't cracked it about silly little things in a long time, and hopefully this isn't a sign of what's to come.

Starting Synarel in two days.

The Wiggly Woo + Drug Cocktails

2010-06-24T12:37:00.002+10:00

It was while dancing the Wiggly Woo with my Kindergarten group in a circle today that it happened. My eyes welled up with tears and I cuddled my chest. No, not in sadness or due to the already long day I’d had, but my breasts. In particular, they were here and announcing to the world their extreme tenderness. Ouch ouch ouch... I’d forgotten about that part of the Pill! (though the hubby's not complaining, he’s a fan of the bloat)

Too much information? Well, get used to it... you’re going to hear a lot more about body parts and squeamish events in the coming months.

Today marked an exciting day – meeting our IVF nurse for the first time and picking up all of the medications I’ll be taking for the cycle. Apparently 8.30am is peak time up at the clinic, they were packed with couples of all ages and stages. I was actually a little in awe – some people were older (some younger!) and others who looked just like us. However, no one gave each other any eye-contact... understandably people were looking to get in and out as quick as possible, yet we were all united by our infertility.

The nurse was nice (I found myself staring at her necklace during our appointment), she explained how to use the nasal spray, the pessaries, the injections – I got to practice giving myself one which was an interesting experience and a sign of what’s to come. Because I like being in control, it was reassuring to see some timeframes and that I start on the nasal spray (Synarel) on Monday (injections starting from July 8th if my blood test and ultrasound show the right [lowered] oestrogen levels on the 7th).

I’ll admit it was a little overwhelming taking home a big paper bag of medications, especially when I had to put my game face on and go straight to work afterward. However, it was probably for the best because I didn’t get the opportunity to wallow or go over it all in my head. After all, I wouldn’t miss out on Wiggly Woo-induced boob bounce for the world.

This is the complete kit for my IVF cycle. To the left is my Puregon pen, which will deliver FSH (follicle stimulating hormone; hopefully leads to a good egg collection) via injection (the little vials), which I can dial up. Very user-frendly. To the right is Synarel, the nasal spray which will switch off my oestrogen production starting on Monday (I'll be taking that every 12 hours for the next month). The injection to the lower right is Ovidrel, which is a shot of HCG, the pregnancy hormone which will tell my ovaries to release the follicles it's growing. Apparently egg collection will occur 38hrs after taking the injection. The white/purple box in the middle is Crinone, which is a synthetic progesterone in the form of pessary (vaginal) gel. After the embryo transfer up until the end of the cycle (16 days-ish) I'll be inserting one of those in the morning and at night... not too keen on that one!

In comparision, this is my husband's contribution to the process:

Countdown to Wednesday

2010-06-21T17:22:00.000+10:00

I'm feeling a lot better now, the nausea passed within a week of starting the birth control pill and, come to think of it, I haven't had a headache today (double score!).

Big appointment on Wednesday morning coming up - hubby and I pay for our first IVF cycle upfront (no-frills; we get the starter form of it which is a good thing!) and get to pick up all the medications from our nurse. I'm not sure what to expect, I've heard horror stories about huge boxes... which wouldn't be all that fun considering we've got a decent walk to and from the train station to the clinic. Maybe it'll be less, I don't know?

All I know is that my account is going to be significantly lighter come Wednesday (bye bye Nikon D700 for now!), and I'll be a heck of a lot more informed. No backing down now, it's game time -- and in five weeks time I'll be either celebrating a positive result or getting ready to start again. Cautious optimism is the key here.

Nausea

2010-06-14T11:46:00.000+10:00

Ugh, I'm not feeling so good this morning.
(It's a long weekend here in Australia and the day's half gone already; normally I'm out of the house by 7.45am for work on a Monday)

Nausea's hit me and it could be anything - the muffin/hot chocolate I ate while out yesterday, eating cheese and biscuits before bed last night with the hubby, or the BCP (Microgynon 30) I've been taking for the past two days.

If it's the last one, I'm disappointed that I'm having symptoms already (me and the BCP have never gotten along well in the past) and there's still three weeks to go of this stage. If it's any other reason, well I'll certainly find out in the next day or two.

Hubby joked that I'm pregnant already, that resulted in daggers cast in his general direction (trust me, my love, my body tells me otherwise!)

This may be a long eight weeks!

Kindergarten Anecdotes

2010-06-11T18:08:00.001+10:00

A watched pot never boils, and neither do periods apparently.

I’m still late (though nothing to get excited about), but feeling like I’ll get it any minute now for the past two days. I’m hoping that this entry is the catalyst that my body needs to kick-start into action or – even better – it’s already started. I picked up my Pill prescription from the pharmacy during my lunch break today, since it was the local one near work I’m glad there weren’t any Kindergarten families in there at the time as the pharmacist asked me a few questions (it was a particular kind of Pill, I thought I’d had it before but it turns out it was just the brand rather than the tablets themselves). It felt kind of odd to be picking up a contraceptive pill prescription, like it’s the antimatter to what I’m trying to achieve.

P.S. – Our IVF nurse called today to introduce herself, she sounds really nice. Unfortunately I couldn’t make an appointment with her just yet (to pick up the other medications etc) until my cycle starts. It’s a long weekend here (the last until November!) so it can wait until Tuesday now... no pressure. :)

I was in my office afterwards, nibbling on lunch while doing some paperwork and the other four year-old group was in session (different teacher). One of the little girls in the group (ever-so-patiently) knocked on the transparent glass door before I opened it, and out of nowhere she asked “where are your kids today?”

I asked if she meant my Kinder group.
“No, the ones in your tummy”.
“They’re not there yet”, I replied.
“But why?”
“Sometimes it takes a long time for them to get there”
“Do you have to wait?”
“Yes... I have to wait”
“Will they come soon?”
“I hope so”
“Me too... I love you”

Although I can’t decide whether that exchange or being asked by one of my own group’s children what I wanted to be when I grew up made me smile more. Life is full of possibilities.

IVF #1 is Starting!

2010-06-10T10:24:00.001+10:00

Yesterday was our appointment with the fertility specialist (also an unscheduled pap smear, of course I wasn’t prepared... you ladies will know what I mean; my knee-high striped socks also remained on, which added to the sense of wonder). Hubby and I both had test results returned (good and good) and we got the official all-clear to start down-regulation on my next cycle.

Excitement much? You bet! Three weeks of being on the Pill, some doses of the Synarel nasal spray and I’m good to go with the injections! I saw my naturopath this morning too, and she asked if there’s any possibility that I’m pregnant now because my period’s running a little late (I doubt it, I tested negative the other day), and we laughed at the irony of it all. She’s pleased for me too, and has recommended acupuncture if we don’t conceive within our first couple of IVF cycles.

A really positive day, and a big possibility that I start the ‘stim’ (injectable) cycle in four weeks time.

I've never been more excited to get a period in my life (judging by how I'm feeling, in the next day or two I think).

Kittens

2010-05-27T11:25:00.002+10:00

So I kept the promise I made to myself of not calling Monash IVF prematurely, instead waiting until I received the information/registeration pack in the mail. Hubby and I are now the proud (lol) owners of little barcoded laminated cards, a thickly-bound book of information and one counselling appointment (next Tuesday, June 1st).

The thing that made me laugh the most was the IVF newsletter enclosed. Not because of the content but because of the cover... it's covered in kittens. I can just imagine the scene now...

Person A: "What do we put on there this quarter?"
Person B: "Babies? Chocolate"
Person A: "No.... kittens. Infertile women love kittens"

Person B: "Rightio, kittens it is".

I promise I'm sane. Just in waiting mode. :P

Resisting the Urge

2010-05-16T12:39:00.000+10:00

I'm proud of myself for resisting the urge and not call Monash IVF to check they received our registration on Friday - instead I'm waiting until Monday afternoon because it's entirely more realistic that they will have received and processed our forms.

I started a new cycle yesterday and cramps have been kicking my arse both days. So much so that I'm sitting in bed with my laptop and it's already 12.35pm (ho hum!). Sure, it's Sunday and a designated 'lazy day' but old habits die hard and I want to be productive too. Perhaps I'll do a little work for the week ahead later in the afternoon. Or find an excuse to take photos somewhere -- I've been in a picture-rut since December, I realise.

Speaking of cycles, I'm guessing that this one will be the last 'natural' one for a couple of months (before down regulating and stimming), both a little poignant and frightening. My poor bank account's going to take a battering this year...!

In the Mail

2010-05-13T10:35:00.000+10:00

*thumbs up*

Hubby's police check arrived in the mail after...what, four or five weeks? Sure, he's got a more common name than me (first name/surname combination) but it was getting a little ridiculous.

The paperwork is now in the mail to Monash IVF, so here's hoping that they receive it tomorrow and I can make the counselling and pathology appointments.

I haven't quite made it in to start on the down-regulating for next month, as I have a period due some time in the next week. But assuming that the blood test results come back normal, I'm crossing my fingers that this time in a month we'll be starting the process. :)

Happy Sunday

2010-05-09T10:36:00.000+10:00

Good morning!

Today is Mother's Day here in Australia (and in a few other countries I'm told; it's easier to live in a bubble sometimes) and, while I thought it'd be a grand plan to avoid blogs and Facebook today, I'm in a good place.

Maybe it's because of the afternoon tea I'm throwing to honour my own mother today, or the fact that the police check for my hubby is on the way (as of Frikday; Public Enquiry Service told me so!), or that I'm finally letting go of the stress/anxiety related to trying to conceive.

Several friends and family have told me in the last fortnight that I seem 'full of energy' or 'positive', when they don't really know the whole story. Am I radiating positive thinking again? Maybe so, this is a big step if it's the case.

Happy Sunday to you, my fellow infertile friends. May this week continue to be a good one.

Saccharine

2010-04-22T17:27:00.003+10:00

When I saw the title of a friend's blog post this morning, my heart leapt while at the same time sinking. She'd birthed her very-much-wanted baby girl - which now brings the pregnancies of four friends all due within the past month to an end.

In a way, it's easier to cope with the newborn pictures at times than it is to cope with the tummy pictures and saccharine musings. Those I can gloss over, or choose not to read at all - I can hide away and pretend that I'm taking some time out from being online.

I started reading a book today that my naturopath let me borrow called Inconceivable, by Ben Elton. It's a romantic-comedy about a couple struggling with infertility. Used to the complex worlds of sicence-fiction (particularly space opera) I've flown through it and in the first 60 pages I've both laughed and cried. I realise how much of a broken record I am, and how I'm selfishly dwelling on what I don't have instead of what I do have (stable marriage, job, finances etc).

But I suppose at the same time the stability induces guilt, there's nothing really to validate my thoughts, nothing concrete except a piece of paper and receipts for medical services proving that I really ferociously infertile at present. Damn you fallopian tubes!

Three Cheers for my Naturopath!

2010-04-20T12:31:00.004+10:00

I went and saw my naturopath today, I was excited since I hadn't seen her since November and I especially wanted to talk to her about the implications of artificial hormones and drugs coursing though my system come IVF cycle time.

She was fantastic and answered so many of my (new) questions, and lent me a book to read. I feel so blessed to have found her last June, and don't think my path would have been the same had I not decided to visit a holistic practicioner.

Now loaded with herbs and other such things which should last me for the next four weeks or so. ;)

Still waiting on police checks to come back.