Musings on Baby Fever

I knew it would happen at some point, that "baby fever" would kick in again at some point in time. I think that the catalyst at the moment is three friends giving birth in the space of a week (!), and seeing pictures of tiny, squishy newborns has my uterus going ahhhhhhhhh! 

Would I say that given everything the past sixteen months has thrown our way, are we ready for another child yet? No, even despite infertility hanging over my head (it's easy to live in denial when running around after a toddler and smiling when answering other people's questions of "so are you having more children soon?"), which is a potential ticking clock in its own right, the time doesn't feel right. The initial months of motherhood weren't kind to me, I beat myself up a lot at the time about a lot of things - my emotions, the transition from wife to all-encompassing mother, breastfeeding, sleeping, the decision to re-home our pet. This time last year I was just starting to see the light after a bleak few months despite the snuggles and awe-inspiring observations of baby development at its finest. I can't imagine going through this again at the moment, not with Rowan as a toddler. 

But having said that, maybe the next time around (if we're lucky to be pregnant again) I'll be kinder on myself, perhaps I'll relax more and go with the flow, knowing what the initial newborn stage can be like (rather than starting from scratch).

Rowan surprises and astonishes us everyday with the new things he's learning (quite often, Matt and I find ourselves looking at each other and saying "are everyone else's babies like that?!"; of course, we live in a bubble where our own child is a prodigy :P). Tonight as we got Rowan dressed after his shower I found myself saying "if you ever have a sibling, you've set the bar pretty high". 

And he has. I also know from many friends that rather than the love in your heart dividing when another child is born, instead it multiplies. And when the right time comes, what shall be will be.