Rowan at 19 Months Old

Our little man is now 19 months old, and getting cheekier, more inquisitive and surprising us more every day with what he is discovering about the world. Rowan is talking up a storm lately, and is stringing together two-word sentences regularly (such as "weetbix bowl" or "Ro-Ro nigh-nigh).

Speaking of nigh-nigh, pretending to put himself to bed is Rowan's most favourite game at the moment. Now that he has the height and body strength to get up onto our big bed, he moves the pillows and squirrels down under the blanket and sheet before declaring "nigh-nigh!" and asking for a kiss. And then it repeats itself... over and over again. And the tantrums that are had about our bedroom door being closed and the bed off-limits, yikes! Needless to say, the evening routine that involves getting to read together under the blankets is one of Rowan's favourite parts of the day.

Rowan has figured out the concept of yes and no during the past month, and responds appropriately to things he likes/dislikes. "Yah!" is a common word we hear enthusiastically said, and "noooooo" ranks a close second. Similarly, he also says "ta" response to giving you something, or wanting something you have. All of these new concepts make him seem so much of a mini-adult at the moment.

His fascination with number and colour continues, and most mornings are spent with at least some time looking over the balcony in the search for blue cars (Rowan's favourite). Trucks, taxis and buses also make for much excitement too.

Toys and other items are beginning to get lined up haphazardly, and Rowan will pretend to count (usually "tooo.... toooo.... toooo" to indicate that he wants to count; really cute!).

After a spate of colds, Rowan's sleep is pretty good at the moment - he's regularly sleeping from 8.30pm-7am (even though he likes to play in his cot at night before falling asleep; you can hear him chattering and/or kicking the wall). He is seeking out more water and less breastmilk at the moment, swapping sides regularly when feeding and I have to convince him to continue on the first side before taking the second.

He surprised us recently by asking for milk and when I lifted up my top in preparation for feeding him, he said "noooo" and ran to the fridge and said "milk... cold". As it turns out, he wanted cow's milk in a sippy cup, which astounded me as I didn't know he liked the taste of it by itself (my guess is that he'd had it at childcare at some point? Rowan has cow's milk on his cereal most mornings but never sought it out by itself before). Since that day a couple of weeks ago, he asks for "cold milk" almost daily, usually during morning or afternoon tea time.

A family picture on our 4th wedding anniversary (Rowan pressed the remote shutter!)

Applauding himself after patting a baby goat at the farm.

Contemplative face.

One of my current favourite pictures of Rowan, playing with my handbag.

Mastitis

So after feeling yucky and terrible for over 24 hours, I started expressing yellow-green pus from my right breast after Rowan boycotted eating from that side. No wonder he wasn't interested in it. And no wonder I was feeling so ill. I've had my fair share of blocked milk ducts in the past (almost) 19 months, but this was in a new league... hello mastitis!

I chowed down on raw garlic, rosemary and hand-expressed what I could over an 18-hour period and, after hand-expressing milk several times last night and this morning (Rowan slept 11 hours straight), the lumps in my breast are a lot smaller and not feeling engorged/tight, and only mild tenderness remains. The red streaks across my breast are also gone today – and the colour of the milk is more normalised too. By tonight, Rowan fed normally off that side, so I’m guessing that the taste was back to his liking too. I haven’t felt so flu-like either so, while I wouldn’t consider myself in the clear just yet, I’m feeling a damned-sight better than I was 24 hours ago.

Rowan has been going through a pinching phase lately (not in anger/frustration, but experimentation; just touching skin and saying “ouch” – my breasts included. He pinched/pulled quite hard a couple of days ago, so I’m wondering if that had anything to do with what I have been going through?).

One of the women in our Mums Group announced that she is pregnant again (she is 11 weeks, her daughter is 18 months old and the youngest in the group; the rest of the babies are between 19-21 months old at the moment). I’m thrilled for her but understandably have a little stab of envy. While pregnant and parenting Rowan, it was/is easy for me to forget our fertility struggles at times... but knowing that more pregnancies are likely to be announced by the other ladies in the next year or two makes me a little apprehensive about our own next step. Yes, we want to have (at least) another child in the future, but I have no idea what form this will take. I don’t know if I’m strong enough to go through month after month of disappointment, or appointments, needles, hormones, medication, procedures and waiting. Oh the waiting. Yes, we were incredibly lucky to have conceived Rowan on our first attempt of IVF but who’s to say that we won’t be so lucky next time? Going through this all the first time I had nothing to compare it to. But now? Being older, wiser and with more life experience I know how hard it can be. And I’m scared. Even things such as riding the IVF rollercoaster and going to appointments without work/family knowing (ie, arranging care for Rowan) so at least we could keep things more of a surprise next time if/when pregnancy happens.