August 23, 2010

Ultrasound is Tomorrow

Tomorrow marks the land of no return... the first ultrasound. Will there be a sac? Will there be a manatee-shaped human-to-be inside? Will there be a heartbeat?

I'm on edge because I'm still in that limbo between being treated for infertility and so-called 'normal' pregnancy. I'm seeing a reproductive endocrinologist (tomorrow will mark the second-last visit before graduating to more local care) and will be joined in the waiting room tomorrow by a variety of women - some of whom might be in a similar situation to me, or midway through an IVF cycle - or their assisted reproduction journey may be just beginning.

In plainer English, I'm a little scared, more than a little cautious and hope that above anything tomorrow brings good news.

...and for the time being I place my hands carefully over my lower abdomen as if to protect the life that I think is going on within right now. Pregnant until proven otherwise.

August 17, 2010

6 Weeks Today

I've been keeping a lower online presence everywhere lately, I'm not sure why though I think dwindling energy levels might have something to do with it.

Today marks being six weeks pregnant, which to me is my first mini-milestone. I'm so proud of my body for doing what it should be, now that I'm off all drugs/medications related to the IVF (just on natural-based supplements, prescribed by my naturopath). Last week I had more blood work done that proved my HCG levels are rising (9014 vs 793 a week ago!). Progesterone was down a little, but still within normal range - the nurse that's probably because I'm off progesterone supplements now. I have one more blood test next week and then I get the all-clear for a while. :)

In other exciting-to-me news, hubby and I will be getting a super early sneak peek at how this little one is doing next Tuesday (which I hope brings news of a strongly-beating heart and everything measuring on schedule). Our first ultrasound! I've had many during the couse of the last few years, but only of an empty uterus.... this is completely different and I'll be ecstatic for good news *keeps fingers tightly crossed*.

Also this week we need to decide on what kind of birthing care I'll be having, as our IVF specialist will be writing a referral shortly. Then we'll be officially be done with the clinic and continuing pregnancy care locally. It all feels too early to be planning these things - after all, I've only just found out that I'm pregnant! Originally I was interested in midwife-led care, but now I'm considering other options too. I've been recommended a couple of hands-off obstetricians which sound like a good fit for me, and I know that at least one of them accepts IVF women *thumbs up*.

So now we wait a little bit, and hope that next Tuesday brings good news (yes, it's all about the waiting, waiting, waiting!).

P.S. - My stomach turned yesterday at the smell of disintegrating rubber gloves. Hoping this isn't a sign of things to come!

August 10, 2010

5 Weeks Today

It feels as though I've known about being pregnant for ages, but in reality it's only been a week and-a-half. The trouble with knowing so early is that there is longer to wait to make real progress.

But then again, every week is progress, and closer to the goals of staying pregnant and birthing a baby (which sounds strange to say because my goal for the last couple of years has been to actually get pregnant!).

I've had a cold this week, which has been knocking me around, and my appetite continues to be big (metabolism, I suppose??). No sign of sickly feelings as yet, so I'll be keeping my fingers crossed that this continues.

Two days until the blood test which hopefully confirms that my HCG levels are rising properly, and 15 days until our dating ultrasound. This is the big one for me... it'll all feel more real then. Hubby is excited, I'm so rapt to see him feeling happy about what's happening (did I doubt otherwise, I'm not sure?!).

August 5, 2010

HCG Levels

What a wonderful day.... my pregnancy has been confirmed by blood test!!

I was right on the money (4w 2d) with my dates, with my levels being -

HCG: 793
Progesterone: 391

The nurse said that those levels are looking really good! Now to have another blood test next week, and my first ultrasound is scheduled for August 24th (6w 6d). Great timing, as two days after that hubby and I will be flying to visit the in-laws to tell them the good news! :D

P.S. - I told my best friend about our news over lunch today, predictably she cried! I know she's going to be the best non-related auntie ever! ;)

August 4, 2010

On Why I Love Carrots

Symptoms to date: Lots of weeing. Tiredness. Big appetite. Thirst. Carrots are yummy.

It's funny, I've only known I'm pregnant for five days but I feel so attached to the mass of cells that are growing inside of me, and hope that they make it to this side of the world. I know it's wrong to feel like this already, but this is something the hubby and I have wanted for so long -- and strived for. We like to succeed in all facets of life and fertility is no exception. Now I'm growing a baby and trying to do the best that I can. :)

There are 11 hours to go until my blood test, and I'll find out the results 5-6 hours after that. Very nervous despite knowing in my heart that we'll have a good result (hopefully enough to go off the progesterne, but won't be devestated if I have to stay on it... I'm thankful we've gotten this far).

I've told a few close online friends and decided to be an active part of a forum I've been a part of for a couple of years (after the initial endometriosis diagnosis). There are other women who are in the very early stages of pregnancy like me, and it feels good to share in this experience with other people. And to validate my thoughts... that it's okay to feel attached. :)

Tomorrow I'm lunching with my best friend and I plan on giving her the good news in person. I know she'll be rapt (she can't wait until the day when she and her partner have a baby of their own), and will probably wonder why I'm spilling the beans so early. I questioned a good friend who said the same thing once and she said that if anything were to 'go wrong' she'd rather the love and support of others around her, rather than trying to cope alone.

I tend to agree with her, so this is why my best friend and I will be jumping around in excitement together this time tomorrow. ;)

August 3, 2010

No Doubting This Response...

Who would have thought it? After yesterday's very faint positive on an internet cheapie strip, I bought myself a First Response test and.... well, there's no doubting that result. I'm pregnant!

Before I get ahead of myself there is Thursday's blood test to get through, and early ultrasound after that. But wow, I never thought I'd get this far so fast - I feel so bleesed!

Hubby and I are trying not to think ahead, but we can't help but talk about when we'll tell both sets of parents (probably at the 7 week mark, since his parents live interstate and we'll be seeing them in person for the first time this year in a month's time). Interestingly, that means also keeping "the secret" from my own mother until then, someone that I'm very close to. My guess is that she'll figure it out, but we'll just have to see. As I said, a month is a long time away and we don't even know yet whether this little one is meant for the world (I think she it is).

P.S. - The urge to pee very frequently on Saturday night made me realise that maybe my period wasn't on the way after all. That and a general feeling of 'oddness'. Since then, the peeing han't stopped (I've been waking up at least twice a night needing to use the toilet) and this morning I haven't felt all that hungry but have eaten my bran cereal anyway. Isn't it too early for all of this?

I worked out my dates, and I'm only a tad over 4 weeks...

August 1, 2010

Two Lines

If July was the month of upheaval, then I think I am really going to like August.

Last night the cramping continued and I found myself keeping on going to the toilet to check whether I'd started my period yet (11dpo7dpt). The cramps were identical to period pains, increasing in intensity and I was trying to steel myself that this was it.

A couple of hours later, while sitting on the couch with hubby, a calm descended over me... an oddness that told me it was time to test, that something was stopping this period from coming.

Fast forward to this morning and..... TWO LINES!!!

Sure, the second line was faint but still visibly there without squinting. Holy moly, I think I'm pregnant. Four days until the blood test to find out for sure... cautious optimism shead!