October 30, 2010

16 Weeks

This week marks an important milestone - no, not just that I'm officially four month pregnant, but that I felt the baby move for the first time on Tuesday (the 26th).

We were at an appointment with the obstetrician and I laid down on the bed while he put the doppler on my tummy. As he started up the doppler (before we could hear any sound) there was a small thwack off to my left side, between belly button and pelvic bone. If I didn't know any better, I'd say the baby was startled!

I kept my thoughts to myself in case hubby or the doctor laughhed at me and said "oh no, that's way too early for movement with a first baby". But sure enough, I've felt the same muscle-twitching type movement another two times since then.

The little one is trying to make itself known to me, and I am ever so excited. I'm filled with love, gushiness and maternal pride *insert gooey smile here*. :)

Another big week for growth, and am getting more comments from families in the workplace. The old wives tales have begun, and people are adamant that it's "definitely" one gender over another. Of course, everyone has a 50/50 chance of being right... including hubby and myself. Hubby is currently thinking Team Pink, whereas I'm undecided (although looking whistfully at little buttoned shirts and cargo shorts). Only 27 days until we get the opportunity to try and find out! ;)

16 weeks & 3 days.

October 24, 2010

Infertility in a Fertile World

I've had a few moments of serious thinking lately, which has been triggered by a few people saying "You're not infertile anymore, you're pregnant!".

I have a bit of a problem with this for a few reasons - if anything I feel more guilty because I have an obvious phyiscal marker of fertility in front of me every day now. People notice my growing bump (which has been on the move quite a bit this week), so it's easy to pretend on the outside that I'm fertile like a lot of the female population.

The trouble is that I'm not. IVF and the wonder of science has helped my husband and I achieve this dream of childbearing, and without it we would still probably be trying and experiencing BFN after BFN, slowly losing hope. Where do I sit now? With the women who pregnancy has come naturally to, or with the women who still yearn for a child and my bump is a reminder of what sets us apart?

It can be difficult being an infertile woman in a fertile world, and the thought of going through IVF again in the years to come terrifies me as I now know what we're in for. I'm not the praying type, but I hope that my fallopian scarring somehow reverses with this pregnancy.

October 21, 2010

15 Weeks

I'm in the eager stage of pregnancy right now.

Eager to feel those little flutters for reassurance that everything's going okay.
Eager for further belly growth, despite knowing it'll be around the corner.
Eager to know whether this little one is a boy or a girl.
Eager for baby room decorating, despite a lack of space to do so!

I guess that's one of the down sides to popping out early (for me, it was from about 10 weeks), you think that everything is going to happen just as instantly... but it doesn't. It's all slow and steady - and at times non-existant! I've had a couple of random tummy rubs recently, which has been surprising to say the least (I'm not a hugely touch-and-feely person), so there must be some physical changes going on. ;)

Innie belly button is becoming shallower.

October 14, 2010

14 Weeks

Hubby and I went away to the Grampians (a mountain range in inner Victoria) for a wedding I was shooting last weekend. It was an amazing experience (with views for miles and miles!) but unfortunately the morning sickness I thought I'd avoided reared its ugly head on the morning of the wedding...oh dear.

Thankfully I didn't empty the contents of my stomach, though I had to excuse mysef out of rooms multiple times during the day (including while shooting the bride getting the end of her make-up done). Talk about an experience!

Here I am before the ceremony (photo courtesy of the hubby) -

Photo at 13 weeks & 4 days

I made my pregnancy official to management at work last week, which was a relief (as it turns out many people were guessing anyway, given the fact I'm starting to show and was quite thin pre-pregnancy!). Many of the parents and families I work with at the preschool are very happy for the news too... even if it means I won't be teaching their children next year!

Got a shocking cold at the moment, which is the first I've had since I hit 6 weeks (when I had 3 colds in quick succession... hello compromised immune system!) and am thinking of taking tomorrow off as a sick day - I barely ever take time off. I think I owe it to myself. :)

October 5, 2010

Letter to a Little One [13wks]

Hello baby, we saw you today and heard your heart beating at 160bpm. You're measuring 6.75cm from head to rump right now, and that doesn't include your legs (the ultrasound tech said you'd be closer to 10cm realistically!).

Everything looks good - your brain, heart, kidneys, body, cord, feet and hands. Unlike last week's scan you decided to surprise us by being still (and more than just a little bit stubborn... I think you take after me already!). As soon as the tech flipped into 4D mode you put your hand up in front of your face as if to say no more!! We'll get you used to the camera yet, there's plenty of time. ;)

The next time we see you will be on November 25th, when I'll be 20 weeks. Hopefully you co-operate and let us discover who you are!

Love you.