June 28, 2010

*Sniff Sniff*

I officially started on the Synarel nasal spray today, in preparation for starting injections on July 8th.

There was a tingling sensation in my nostril afterwards, and a bitter kind of taste in my throat about ten minutes later. I guess that means the medication has entered my body?

I don't why I've been so anxious about starting this part of the treatment, I handled Zoladex fine for six months back in 2008 and that was full menopause. It's just nasal sprays... I've never been a fan...

June 26, 2010


I promised myself that I'd try to keep my emotions in check, in light of everything that's happening (and what will be happening), yet I found myself snapping at the hubby today.

Not over anything earth-shattering, but an accumulation of inside-out washing and frustration that I just mopped the bathroom floor and still couldn't keep it clean.

Ugh, I shut myself in our bedroom for a while until I calmed down. We shouted a little at each other and I'm making a concerted effort to calm down. I haven't cracked it about silly little things in a long time, and hopefully this isn't a sign of what's to come.

Starting Synarel in two days.

June 24, 2010

The Wiggly Woo + Drug Cocktails

It was while dancing the Wiggly Woo with my Kindergarten group in a circle today that it happened. My eyes welled up with tears and I cuddled my chest. No, not in sadness or due to the already long day I’d had, but my breasts. In particular, they were here and announcing to the world their extreme tenderness. Ouch ouch ouch... I’d forgotten about that part of the Pill! (though the hubby's not complaining, he’s a fan of the bloat)

Too much information? Well, get used to it... you’re going to hear a lot more about body parts and squeamish events in the coming months.

Today marked an exciting day – meeting our IVF nurse for the first time and picking up all of the medications I’ll be taking for the cycle. Apparently 8.30am is peak time up at the clinic, they were packed with couples of all ages and stages. I was actually a little in awe – some people were older (some younger!) and others who looked just like us. However, no one gave each other any eye-contact... understandably people were looking to get in and out as quick as possible, yet we were all united by our infertility.

The nurse was nice (I found myself staring at her necklace during our appointment), she explained how to use the nasal spray, the pessaries, the injections – I got to practice giving myself one which was an interesting experience and a sign of what’s to come. Because I like being in control, it was reassuring to see some timeframes and that I start on the nasal spray (Synarel) on Monday (injections starting from July 8th if my blood test and ultrasound show the right [lowered] oestrogen levels on the 7th).

I’ll admit it was a little overwhelming taking home a big paper bag of medications, especially when I had to put my game face on and go straight to work afterward. However, it was probably for the best because I didn’t get the opportunity to wallow or go over it all in my head. After all, I wouldn’t miss out on Wiggly Woo-induced boob bounce for the world.

This is the complete kit for my IVF cycle. To the left is my Puregon pen, which will deliver FSH (follicle stimulating hormone; hopefully leads to a good egg collection) via injection (the little vials), which I can dial up. Very user-frendly. To the right is Synarel, the nasal spray which will switch off my oestrogen production starting on Monday (I'll be taking that every 12 hours for the next month). The injection to the lower right is Ovidrel, which is a shot of HCG, the pregnancy hormone which will tell my ovaries to release the follicles it's growing. Apparently egg collection will occur 38hrs after taking the injection. The white/purple box in the middle is Crinone, which is a synthetic progesterone in the form of pessary (vaginal) gel. After the embryo transfer up until the end of the cycle (16 days-ish) I'll be inserting one of those in the morning and at night... not too keen on that one!

In comparision, this is my husband's contribution to the process:

June 21, 2010

Countdown to Wednesday

I'm feeling a lot better now, the nausea passed within a week of starting the birth control pill and, come to think of it, I haven't had a headache today (double score!).

Big appointment on Wednesday morning coming up - hubby and I pay for our first IVF cycle upfront (no-frills; we get the starter form of it which is a good thing!) and get to pick up all the medications from our nurse. I'm not sure what to expect, I've heard horror stories about huge boxes... which wouldn't be all that fun considering we've got a decent walk to and from the train station to the clinic. Maybe it'll be less, I don't know?

All I know is that my account is going to be significantly lighter come Wednesday (bye bye Nikon D700 for now!), and I'll be a heck of a lot more informed. No backing down now, it's game time -- and in five weeks time I'll be either celebrating a positive result or getting ready to start again. Cautious optimism is the key here.

June 14, 2010


Ugh, I'm not feeling so good this morning.
(It's a long weekend here in Australia and the day's half gone already; normally I'm out of the house by 7.45am for work on a Monday)

Nausea's hit me and it could be anything - the muffin/hot chocolate I ate while out yesterday, eating cheese and biscuits before bed last night with the hubby, or the BCP (Microgynon 30) I've been taking for the past two days.

If it's the last one, I'm disappointed that I'm having symptoms already (me and the BCP have never gotten along well in the past) and there's still three weeks to go of this stage. If it's any other reason, well I'll certainly find out in the next day or two.

Hubby joked that I'm pregnant already, that resulted in daggers cast in his general direction (trust me, my love, my body tells me otherwise!)

This may be a long eight weeks!

June 11, 2010

Kindergarten Anecdotes

A watched pot never boils, and neither do periods apparently.

I’m still late (though nothing to get excited about), but feeling like I’ll get it any minute now for the past two days. I’m hoping that this entry is the catalyst that my body needs to kick-start into action or – even better – it’s already started. I picked up my Pill prescription from the pharmacy during my lunch break today, since it was the local one near work I’m glad there weren’t any Kindergarten families in there at the time as the pharmacist asked me a few questions (it was a particular kind of Pill, I thought I’d had it before but it turns out it was just the brand rather than the tablets themselves). It felt kind of odd to be picking up a contraceptive pill prescription, like it’s the antimatter to what I’m trying to achieve.

P.S. – Our IVF nurse called today to introduce herself, she sounds really nice. Unfortunately I couldn’t make an appointment with her just yet (to pick up the other medications etc) until my cycle starts. It’s a long weekend here (the last until November!) so it can wait until Tuesday now... no pressure. :)

I was in my office afterwards, nibbling on lunch while doing some paperwork and the other four year-old group was in session (different teacher). One of the little girls in the group (ever-so-patiently) knocked on the transparent glass door before I opened it, and out of nowhere she asked “where are your kids today?”

I asked if she meant my Kinder group.
“No, the ones in your tummy”.
“They’re not there yet”, I replied.
“But why?”
“Sometimes it takes a long time for them to get there”
“Do you have to wait?”
“Yes... I have to wait”
“Will they come soon?”
“I hope so”
“Me too... I love you”

Although I can’t decide whether that exchange or being asked by one of my own group’s children what I wanted to be when I grew up made me smile more.  Life is full of possibilities.

June 10, 2010

IVF #1 is Starting!

Yesterday was our appointment with the fertility specialist (also an unscheduled pap smear, of course I wasn’t prepared... you ladies will know what I mean; my knee-high striped socks also remained on, which added to the sense of wonder). Hubby and I both had test results returned (good and good) and we got the official all-clear to start down-regulation on my next cycle.

Excitement much? You bet! Three weeks of being on the Pill, some doses of the Synarel nasal spray and I’m good to go with the injections! I saw my naturopath this morning too, and she asked if there’s any possibility that I’m pregnant now because my period’s running a little late (I doubt it, I tested negative the other day), and we laughed at the irony of it all. She’s pleased for me too, and has recommended acupuncture if we don’t conceive within our first couple of IVF cycles.

A really positive day, and a big possibility that I start the ‘stim’ (injectable) cycle in four weeks time.
I've never been more excited to get a period in my life (judging by how I'm feeling, in the next day or two I think).