I've had a few moments of serious thinking lately, which has been triggered by a few people saying "You're not infertile anymore, you're pregnant!".
I have a bit of a problem with this for a few reasons - if anything I feel more guilty because I have an obvious phyiscal marker of fertility in front of me every day now. People notice my growing bump (which has been on the move quite a bit this week), so it's easy to pretend on the outside that I'm fertile like a lot of the female population.
The trouble is that I'm not. IVF and the wonder of science has helped my husband and I achieve this dream of childbearing, and without it we would still probably be trying and experiencing BFN after BFN, slowly losing hope. Where do I sit now? With the women who pregnancy has come naturally to, or with the women who still yearn for a child and my bump is a reminder of what sets us apart?
It can be difficult being an infertile woman in a fertile world, and the thought of going through IVF again in the years to come terrifies me as I now know what we're in for. I'm not the praying type, but I hope that my fallopian scarring somehow reverses with this pregnancy.