We lost another of our precious embryos this morning. To say I'm disappointed would be an understatement. With every embryo that I don't get the chance to grow and nurture beyond 10 days brings us one step closer to the realisation of potentially undertaking more full IVF stimulation) cycles.
We have one remaining frozen embryo left from the cycle that Rowan was conceived in, and have an appointment with our IVF specialist next week to talk about the next step (probably some progesterone support for the second half of my cycle). Years earlier, when pregnant with Rowan, I mused over one of those embryos joining us again one day, a special 'twin' (conceived in the same month) but born years apart. I always thought that was cool. With each loss we have, I feel sad that this might not be the case.
Can I even call these unsuccessful cycles 'losses'? It feels almost like a mockery of those women who carried babies for much longer. I'll never know whether any of these three embryos kept growing, tried to implant into my uterus or even started forming foetal/placenta cells.
If there is one thing I'll care to admit though, it will be that I'm glad every embryo we have had thawed so far has done so successfully... and all have made it home to within me once more.