Another Negative FET Cycle

We lost another of our precious embryos this morning. To say I'm disappointed would be an understatement. With every embryo that I don't get the chance to grow and nurture beyond 10 days brings us one step closer to the realisation of potentially undertaking more full IVF stimulation) cycles.

We have one remaining frozen embryo left from the cycle that Rowan was conceived in, and have an appointment with our IVF specialist next week to talk about the next step (probably some progesterone support for the second half of my cycle). Years earlier, when pregnant with Rowan, I mused over one of those embryos joining us again one day, a special 'twin' (conceived in the same month) but born years apart. I always thought that was cool. With each loss we have, I feel sad that this might not be the case.

Can I even call these unsuccessful cycles 'losses'? It feels almost like a mockery of those women who carried babies for much longer. I'll never know whether any of these three embryos kept growing, tried to implant into my uterus or even started forming foetal/placenta cells.

If there is one thing I'll care to admit though, it will be that I'm glad every embryo we have had thawed so far has done so successfully... and all have made it home to within me once more.

Two Lines

If July was the month of upheaval, then I think I am really going to like August.

Last night the cramping continued and I found myself keeping on going to the toilet to check whether I'd started my period yet (11dpo7dpt). The cramps were identical to period pains, increasing in intensity and I was trying to steel myself that this was it.

A couple of hours later, while sitting on the couch with hubby, a calm descended over me... an oddness that told me it was time to test, that something was stopping this period from coming.

Fast forward to this morning and..... TWO LINES!!!

Sure, the second line was faint but still visibly there without squinting. Holy moly, I think I'm pregnant. Four days until the blood test to find out for sure... cautious optimism shead!

Embryos on Ice!

It's like Disney on Ice, only without the cartoon characters coming to life.

*thumbs up to good news* 4 out of our 6 remaining embryos made it to freezing, which means if this cycle is unsuccessful we've got a couple of frozen cycles up our sleeves! :D

Do I feel any different at the moment? Not really, I was telling a work colleague this morning that besides a bit of cramping on and off yesterday and today, I feel like life is really back to normal. But now that I feel 'back to normal', I'm second-guessing myself?

Wait... is normal a good thing or a not-so-good thing?
Sore breasts: tender = progesterone or HCG?

Can we please fast-forward to seven sleeps from now so I can find out??

Hello Little One?

It's good to have rejoined the world again. Sure, I was thrown into the deep end back at work yesterday, and the kids were off.the.wall - but it was satisfying. :)

I wonder if there's anything going on within my body right now, I'd love to know whether this little embryo has implanted (or even if it's going to), with progesterone masking any possible changes - tender, swollen breasts etc. The hubby mentioned yesterday that I'm being awfully calm and patient about this whole waiting time, I told him that the closer it gets to next Thursday (blood work day) the more antsy I'll probably get.

A woman who has been cycling with me (IUI) took a home test yesterday and had a negative result, despite being adamant that her symptoms were pregnancy related. I'd told her that it was too soon to test, but she wanted to do it anyway. And now she's disappointed and waiting until her bloodwork. I don't want to say I told you so, but.... well. ;)

Time to go and knead some bread dough, then onto some paperwork for a meeting tonight.